Life Tip #121

"So... what do you do?"

is a question that almost never escapes the clutches of any 'getting-to-know-you' conversation.

What it does is make the asker seem like one of three things:

• a social climber
• a judgmental prick
• a person who's assessing your potential in helping them get ahead in life

Expert communicators never ask the question "So what do you do?"

We live in world today, where consciously or otherwise, we are constantly sizing one another up. First impressions are formed within seconds of coming into visual contact with another person. Judgment and animosity are subtly passed between two conversing parties when one asks the other "so, what do you do?" and the respondent doesn't have a particularly impressive response to the latter question. Often the look on the asker's face just screams "Oh. poor you. Didn't get too far in life, aye?"

What a sensitive, experienced communicator would do is to ask the following:

"So how you spend most of your time?"

That way, the respondent can avoid answering in a way that makes him/her feel belittled by choosing to tell you about his/her pastimes instead of occupation if the need arises. It also shows that you are aware that a person is defined by more things than just his occupation.

If the respondent goes "Work takes up all of my time", then take it as a green light for you to inquire further into a topic that the respondent has already indicated comfort in discussing.