(Ladies,) The Reason Why You're Still Single

You may have met her.

You may be her. 










You're smart. You're sexy. You're beautiful. 


But to top it all off - you're single.


If you're that 'it' girl who just can't seem to find Mr. Right... this goes out to you.

For fear of making a sweeping statement, I first must enter my run-of-the-mill disclaimer - there are a myriad of reasons why wonderful women have difficulty finding a suitable mate - work pressure, societal expectations, medical conditions... but the one thing I've noticed so far in many otherwise 'complete' women is


a lack of sense of humor.








Both sexes often list 'sense of humor' as one of their top priorities when it comes to selecting a life partner. But what's missing here is context. Both sexes say the same thing, but mean it in two very different ways.


When a woman says it, she's referring to a man who's quick-witted, has a good vocabulary and is tastefully smooth when it comes to making her laugh.


But when a man says "I want a woman with a sense of humor"... whoa boy. He's referring to something quite different.


When a man says "I want a woman with a sense of humor"... what he's actually trying to say is -




I want a woman who laughs at my jokes.






Women want to be loved, men want to be admired. 

Every single occasion you let out a hearty "HA HA" at one of his lame fart jokes, that man right there is beaming from the inside out. He feels the love emanating from your genuine, sincere laughter - which in man-brain-speak spells out "YOU ARE AWESOME".  

"And then... I FARTED!"

So, ladies, the next time you're wondering why you're drop-dead attractive but still staying home alone on Friday nights - remember the buzzword:






"HA HA"

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Life Tip #123: Never Marry An Eldest Child

When I was 12, my dad told me,


"Rudi, if you want to have a happy marriage, never marry another eldest child." 


For the record, I'm the eldest child in my family of 2 children.


Sweeping statements aside, to my 12 year old mind, my father's musings were nothing short of gospel truth and every sliver of advice he gave me - I held on to with all my heart, mind and soul. 

His concept stemmed from the stereotypical notions of the following:




Eldest child: domineering, dominant, used to getting his/her way, prone to leadership


Middle child: Highly independent, prone to taking initiative, creative (based on the presumption that the middle child is usually, relatively, the most neglected sibling)

Youngest child: Compromising, tolerant, giving, a good follower (tends to be untrue if the youngest child is of a different sex from his older sibling(s))


Only child: Lone ranger, tends to operate on a solo basis, prefers solitude, similar to the eldest child character in some aspects. 

Thus, based on the above stereotypes (which I disclaim, may be wildly untrue in various cases), my father's formula for marital bliss was for an eldest child (a leader) to marry a youngest child (a follower). This idea is akin to the saying "too many cooks spoil the broth" - if two dominant personalities come together, both unable to hand over the leadership helm to the other, it would be a recipe for disaster. 


On the other hand, if two youngest children got together, the relationship would lack direction, as both may be more keen on compromising and giving leeway to another instead of setting down concrete direction for the relationship to move in. 


Middle children, on the other hand, would be wild cards, in the sense that they tend to be the independent, dare I say - rogues. Thus, their personalities may not be as easily definable as they fall across a much wider behavioral palette.  

At the end of the day, as my feeble 12 year old mind gradually underwent limited bursts of maturity, I came to the epiphany that there are no absolutes in this world we inhabit. Many environmental factors, such as friends, religion, community, education, exposure to media, etc are strong factors in influencing the ultimate result of each individual's personality traits. Generalizing, stereotyping and demarcating based on preconceived notions will only serve to limit our pool of wonderful potential partners out there. 




After all, I married an eldest child.

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Your Workout Routine: Day One

Despite recent revelations: 

Sticking to the pre-bedtime pushup routine?

• Yes                                                                      (4 votes)
• No                                                                        (8 votes)
• What pre-bedtime pushup routine?     (11 votes)
• I love ice cream                                            (18 votes)

Results accurate as of 11:26am (GMT +8), 23 April 2010

I trust that you readers are either lying, humble or just cheeky... and that, in actual fact, all 18 ice-cream voters out there are obsessive-compulsive pushup machines continuously getting down to 3 sets of 40 repetitions a night. Ah, the power of positive thinking...never fails to brighten the day. 

Moving on with the presumption that you've been devoted to the daily pushup routine since the 21st March post, which would have you clocking in at about a month's worth of compound-muscle-frame-building-goodness, it's now time for your induction into the world of the big boys - 

The Straight Eye for the Straight Guy

Free Weights Routine

The routine will be divided into 3 sections - shoulders and biceps, chest and triceps and core and back. Click here to read more into the reason for segregating body parts. 

Remember the rule of thumb - heavier weights, less repetitions for size, and lighter weights with more repetitions for toning and definition. Be sure not to use overly heavy weights - everyone in the gym will think you're a douchebag when you fumble with that 30kg dumbbell and it lands on your toes. 

Use a weight which makes it reasonably tiring/difficult to perform your repetitions, such that you're struggling when you arrive at the final 2 repetitions of each set. Use a spotter (somebody to watch you lift) at all times if the circumstances permit. 

Day One - Shoulders and Biceps

Having a nice pair of shoulders will make you look good in just about any outfit - think of your shoulders as your shirt hanger. The better the structure of the hanger, the better your clothes hang on you. The better your clothes hang on you, the better you look. The better you look,... you get the picture. 

Military Press

The military press is arguably the most popular free weights move for building your deltoids quickly and effectively. Perform 3 sets with decreasing repetitions as you increase the weight with each set. 

E.g. Set 1 - 10kgs, 12 repetitions. Set 2 - 12.5kgs, 10 repetitions. Set 3 - 15kgs, 8 repetitions. 

With the weights placed at the sides of your feet, slowly pull them up using the strength in your shoulders and arms and place them onto your thighs. Keep your back straight at all times to prevent injury. 

With the weights placed securely on your thighs, in a quick "knee jerk motion", push the weights upward using the force from your legs. This is opposed to using the strength from your upper body to lift the weights into the starting military press position, which may place dangerous levels of stress on your back. 

With the weights in the starting position as per the photo above (weights at ear level, parallel to your body), keep your back straight and your shoulder blades pinched backward. Now, in a  slow and controlled motion, push the weights upward and then lower them into the starting position. 

Kudos. Your first military press, private. Now drop and gimme 50. Naw, I'm just playin'. Read on.

Side deltoid raise

Once you've completed 3 sets of your military presses, move on to the side deltoid raise for specific deltoid targeting. You'll be using lighter weights for this move as compared to the military press. Try it and see.

Weights by your sides, knees slightly bent (to prevent your back from assisting the raise), slowly raise the weights to ear level. Hold them in that position for 3 seconds and then slowly lower them to the originating position. Repeat 3 sets of 12, 10 and 8 repetitions respectively. 

Bent over side raise

Now, bend over! And raise your weights, lah. 

Knees bent and shoulder width apart, weights lowered close to the ground, slowly raise the dumbbells to head level, taking care to watch your back at all times (ha ha ha). 

Breathing

Never underestimate the power of breathing. It's what keeps you alive. 

Upon exertion (ie. lifting the weight), breathe out. Upon returning to the starting position, breathe in. 

Good, controlled breathing will help you lift heavier, more effectively and goes towards preventing fatigue. 

(to be continued...)

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You Love Ice-Cream?

According to that little poll you see on your far right,

I am

dismayed

disheartened

discouraged

I am

dis-sed

that

50% (16 out of 32) of Straight Eye for the Straight Guy's readers love ice-cream 

(never shoulda given y'all that option)

To the 7 that clicked No, please reconsider your options.

To the 6 that clicked, "What pre-bedtime pushup routine?", click here.

And finally, kudos to the 3 people who clicked on Yes. 

Fine, so I contributed one Yes click myself.

Nevertheless, even if this blog changes the life of just one person,  I will die a fulfilled man.

11 days left to vote fellas.

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Body Development 101

Body building sounds too "muscle head-ish". Body sculpting sounds too "girl-ish". Thus, I settled on;


Straight Eye for the Straight Guy: Body Development 101




I must disclaim that there are endless variations of workout routines available out there. Some might work for you, some might not. The following is a tried and tested fundamental routine that has worked for me and has worked for millions. Live it, eat right and your dreams will come to fruition. Satisfaction Guaranteed*.

Before I digress, we must first come to terms with some basic science. In layman terms, muscle grows when it tears - micro-tears in your muscle fibres leave "gaps" which amino acids (protein) ingested in your diet fills. Working out is essentially stressing your muscles to a point where they experience damage, and this damage leads to the muscle fibers rebuilding and in turn, strengthening. 




Many beginners make the mistake of going to the gym, getting on every machine in sight and working out until they're too exhausted to even take a dump afterwards. In short, a major reason for many diet/workout failures is sometimes not the lack of effort, but rather overdoing it. 


Thus, building a body you can be proud of for years to come doesn't come about by an extreme period of sudden physical exertion - it comes via a committed, consistent lifestyle of eating right and following a suitable sensible and effective workout plan.










Personally, I follow a body-part workout routine. 3 days a week, 2 different major body parts each session. For example:

Monday
Shoulders and biceps


Tuesday
Rest/Aerobic activity (e.g. swimming, basketball, badminton, ping-pong, running)


Wednesday
Chest and triceps


Thursday
Rest/Aerobic activity


Friday
Back and core




It's also advisable to dedicate at least 2 out of your 3 workout days to performing squats and calf raises to avoid the Michelin Man syndrome - body like a tank, legs like a chicken. 

The reason for separating your workouts into different days for different parts lies simply in the fact that muscles need time and protein to rebuild and grow. Thus, concentrating your workout allows even and efficient muscle growth, as opposed to working out all your body parts on the same day. Doing the latter will result in diminished growth, as your daily protein intake will not be able to fulfill the protein requirements for rebuilding so many muscle groups at once. Plus, experiencing micro muscle fiber tears throughout your entire body will likely leave you feeling like a blob of jell-o when you wake up the next morning. 














Stay tuned for the detailed workout routine 
complete with photos 
coming up next on 


Straight Eye for the Straight Guy








*Straight Eye for the Straight Guy disclaims all legal liability arising from failed attempts. That makes the guarantee pretty pointless. I know. 

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What Women Want (You To Wear)

Special thanks to reader Nicole Kuek for the following contribution:

Between You and Nicole Kuek

Nicole Kuek March 30 at 12:04am

Hmm...top three things I'd like to see a guy wear...first has got to be a tux. Guys always look really good in suits. Also dressy shirts with jacket on top. Yum.

Second has got to be a nice, long-sleeved, collared, button-down shirt. You know those dressy shirts guys wear when they go for parties...like the two boys on the right in this pic: 

Adding a tie also works.
And this one!

Um. I'm also probably weird but I like it when guys wear nice hoodies. Maybe because my guy has nice hoodies and looks really good when he wears them >.< Kla. Maybe only when my guy wears. Hahaha. They're soft too... And I tried to look for a good hoodie pic on Facebook but all I came up with is this:
(He's on the left.)

And now I blame you for making me not do work. Hahaha.

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Life Tip #122: Why People With Small Heads Look Taller

Straight Eye for the Straight Guy's Museum of Curiosities Presents... 


The Theory of :-


Why People With Small Heads Look Taller


Have you ever been befuddled by how two people can seemingly be of the same metric height, yet one can look much taller than the other?


The next time you encounter such an anomaly, compare their head sizes. Chances are, the taller-looking fella's head is visibly smaller than his equally tall but shorter-looking compatriot's! 


Genius? I know!






If words could speak, pictures would scream:

Apart from my phenomenal artistic talent, the picture above clearly demonstrates how human beings perceive the illusion of height. On first glance, our minds subconsciously estimate how tall a person is by how many heads tall he is. 

Both figurines are of the same height, yet the smaller headed figurine, whom we shall call Sergio is 7 heads tall, whereas his larger headed friend (Mr. Brown) is 5 heads tall. 


An average runway model is 8 heads tall, which goes to show the value of proportions in many aesthetic aspects of modern life. 


A masseur once told me that stress and thinking too much can lead to the swelling of your cranium, so ladies and gentlemen... take it easy.








Once again, this is Straight Eye for the Straight Guy, 
signing off.

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Style Tip #256: Your Shoes Must Match Your Belt

Lately I've been noticing a spike in the popularity of brown leather. Specifically, dudes sporting good-looking brown leather belts... only to find the entire ensemble ruined by the fact that they're wearing black leather shoes in completion. 


Fellas, this is one of the cardinal rules of style:


Your shoes must match your belt 


No what ifs, no buts. They just have to match. 

Brown shoes, brown belt

That being said, "matching" doesn't mean that you have to always wear a belt with the exact same design as your shoes. The idea is to just not to obviously mismatch your belt and shoes, e.g. brown with black, white with orange, etc. If you're wearing a pair of dark shoes, wear a dark belt. Light pastel colored shoes, a light pastel colored belt. 






Photographic illustration ensues:

With all due respect, I'm aware this dude has a mild "douchebag-ish" look...but hey! His belt and shoes match!

All three gentlemen are wearing very nicely matched shoes and belts - notice how 'refined' their overall ensembles look because of that.

And notice how this mismatching shoe and belt combination just spoils an otherwise decent getup. 

Even if a situation arises where you don't own a matching shoe and belt combination - it's perfectly okay to go belt-less. Provided your trousers don't drop to the floor the second you stand up, going belt-less is a perfectly acceptable look. 

The moral of the story is, rather than wear a wrong belt-shoes combination (left), go belt-less and look like Kanye West (right)!

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The Sandwich Method

If I misled you into coming here looking for food, I apologize. But now that you're here, you might as well stay. I have something for you that may just fill the bowels of your soul. 




Rather than the art of placing condiments between two slices of bread, the Sandwich Method refers to the invaluable skill of tactful criticism. 


Criticism is a big word with big consequences. Criticism is capable of destroying friendships, severing business dealings and putting an end to one beautiful romance after another. 

Nevertheless, I'm sure that we all can agree on one point - sometimes criticism is necessary (with the qualification that many of us need to be aware that we are quick to point out the splinter in our brother's eye but slow to realize that we have a plank in our own).






Presenting, yet another one of mankind's greatest secrets...






The Sandwich Method


Illustration 1


Take the following exchange between Cornelius and Bertha for example. Let's assume that Cornelius is the manager of Corny Corn Cobs and Bertha is his branch supervisor. He needs to criticize her on her lack of customer service skills:


Cornelius: Bertha! You're looking radiant today. I need to speak to you for a minute if you have the time. [compliment]


Bertha: *swoon* Anytime, boss.


Cornelius: Alright Bertha. First of all, I want to compliment you on the great job you've done managing the staff at this Corny Corn Cobs branch. The team always arrives on time and serves cobs of corn in ways that almost make us seem un-corny. [compliment]


Bertha: *twinkle*


Cornelius: You deserve 5 stars for that. But you know what would get you 5 and a half stars?


Bertha: Oh, do tell!


Cornelius: Your performance would be even better if you would continue increasing your effort in attending to our customers. I know you've put in a lot of effort relating to and anticipating our customers' needs. If you keep that up and continue building relationships with our regulars and being observant to their needs, I'm telling you - the sky's the limit! [aptly phrased criticism]


Bertha: Ooo wow that's actually a great idea!


Cornelius: No, hiring you - a supervisor who's willing to accept feedback and who's eager to improve, was the great idea *smirk*. Now I'll let you get back to your duties. Keep up the swell work! [compliment]












The latter conversation may have been slightly exaggerated, but the point of the illustration is to show that criticism is most effective when its put forward as disguised encouragement. Human nature (specifically our inbuilt ego) dictates that we reject outright criticism but are always very eager to lap up praise and encouragement.


The sandwich method works by subtly injecting criticism in between layers of complimentary remarks, to make the criticism extremely easy to digest. Using positive phrases like "I know you've put in effort in (the said point Bertha needs to improve on)" also subconsciously brainwashes motivates Bertha by subtly sowing the seeds of initiative in areas where she may have been severely lacking in before.








Illustration 2


Contrast the latter to outright smack-in-the-face criticism:


Cornelius: Big Bertha, come here. What in the world do you think you're doing? Why aren't you making the effort to talk to our regular customers and attend to their needs? I didn't hire you to just make sure the team comes on time and does un-corny things for goodness sake. You're a supervisor and that includes supervising our customers' needs. Now get your Big Bertha Butt out there! [criticism, more criticism and possibly sexual harassment]


Bertha: My Big Bertha what??






In essence, Cornelius is telling Big Bertha the same thing in Illustrations 1 and 2 (with the exception that she has a huge arse in Illustration 2). Nevertheless, the choice of words and tone in illustration 1 clearly makes a dramatic difference. Not only is Bertha's ego left unscathed, she now is increasingly motivated and eager to please a superior whom she has earned even more respect for. Of course, there will always be exceptions, but for the vast majority of individuals, the Sandwich Method can do wonders.




Thank you for reading. Good night, and good luck. 

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Workout Tip #365 - The Diamond Pushup

That little poll running on the right is giving me nightmares - 5 out of 9 chose "I love ice cream". Y'all just doin' that to annoy me innit? Yeah that's probably what's going on. I'm sure almost all of you are actually religiously devoting 5 minutes before bedtime every night to at least 3 sets of 20 pushups. 





The original pushup was intended in the first workout article as an especially effective exercise when it comes to building a larger chest width and developing shoulder strength. 


Nonetheless,


I'd like you to meet its feared big brother - the Diamond Pushup.

Diamond not representing the value of the pushup (pushups are free - so take full advantage of the situation!) but rather, diamond representing the form your hands take when you're performing this advanced maneuver. 


As always, pictorial assistance is indispensable. 

Your hands should be positioned as in the manner depicted above, with your index fingers and your thumbs almost touching. 

With your body in the above position (arms straightened, back taut and tight in a line),

lower yourself in a slow and controlled motion till your body just graces the floor. Keeping your movements  slow and controlled, push yourself back up into the starting position.

So why the diamond pushup?

The diamond pushup isolates your triceps and places a greater workload on your pectorals. It also forces your core to work harder in order to stabilize as the surface area of contact with the ground is smaller compared to when your hands are spread out shoulder-width as in the original pushup. 

And what do I get from this?

Larger, more developed arms (triceps)

A more pumped chest 

A stronger core

Chicks

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