How to Have 'Stage Presence'

He enters the room.

All eyes are upon him. 

He walks towards you.

Everybody follows his every move.

He shakes your hand and gently smiles.

Everybody smiles back at the natural charisma overflowing from the depths of his soul.

"Stage Presence"

Believe it or not, you can be that man. 

Sure, some of you might say, "But I'm not good looking... or fit... or tall... or smart enough"

But what if I told you that you can possess the above "stage presence" with just three simple adjustments to the way you first appear in front of a crowd?

1. Smile. Slightly.

Wherever you go, whatever you do - wear a slight smile.

A consistent slight smile indicates to your surroundings that you are extremely self assured. Extremely confident. Extremely in control.

You can opt to walk around with a full toothy smile... if you want everyone to think you've just had sex.

But no, seriously, save the full toothy smile for situations that truly deserve a full toothy smile - e.g. meeting an old friend, when your conversation partner is telling a great joke, etc. Overusing the toothy smile runs you the risk of looking like Eddie Murphy. A plastic Eddie Murphy. 

2. Maintain Erect-ness.

I'm sure none of you had any inappropriate sexual thoughts at the mention of the word "erect" so I will not address that. Of course you're aware that I was referring to posture. 

Posture is arguably the most vital component of confidence. You must remain erect at all times. To ascertain your correct degree of erection, stand with your back flat against a wall - the only parts of your body that should be touching the wall are your head and your bum. Now that's your perfect posture. Don't worry, you don't look stuck up. If anything, you're just looking like an erect, sexy beast.

Now for the next 4 weeks, make an effort to be conscious of maintaining this posture (leaning against walls in public places to reset your posture, if necessary) and in no time, you'll be walking around fully erect like Rocco Siffredi.  

3. Pause at the doorway.

Now this is a Broadway industry secret. When an actor enters the stage for the first time, he appears into public view and then... pauses. Taking his time... surveying his surroundings, sizing up the crowd... he pauses... and then proceeds to make his grand entrance. 

  

This nifty move can up your ante from a "nice, pleasant man" to Broadway superstar. In fact, employing this simple doorway entrance method is probably the most dramatic yet socially acceptable way of subtly informing a whole room of your presence solely through the use of body language.  

Now here's how to pull it off:

• Enter the room.
• Pause at the entrance/doorway, employing a subtle power stance (legs slightly apart, hands by your side)
• Take your time to look around the room and size up your surroundings. Make slight eye contact with random people if possible. Maintain your slight smile. At this point, a lot of people may be looking at you and subconsciously wondering if you own the place. 
• After soaking in the bask of glory, proceed.

Now this four step procedure may have more than half of you balking/laughing in amusement - but if executed to perfection, will have people thinking "I don't know what it is about this guy... but he's got STAGE PRESENCE!". 

Lastly, remember - be deliberate in every move you make. Don't rush anything. Truly confident people don't feel the need to quickly escape the public view. They know they're putting on a show for the masses, and they love it.

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Surviving an LDR aka. Long Distance Relationship

LDR what?

Here's an acronym worth knowing, as essential as the ever-saving LBD. Lil' Black Dress if you were wondering.

The Kardashians in LBDs

So. It's the LDR, also known as the dreaded Long Distance Relationship.

You fall in love with an amazing girl, with the thought that she'll never leave your side.

Well, she does and- BAM! You're saying your stiffly sniffles, waving goodbye and assuring her (and yourself) a little distance won't hurt.

Welcome to the LDR Club.

You're officially in a 'Long Distance Relationship'.

Cringing at the thought?

Considered one of the worst types of relationships as the distance may not necessarily make the heart fonder, but in fact yonder far...and beyond, thank your lucky stars you're not in one.

But if you are and still going strong, well I say brownie points and may you survive the distance and time until you are finally together (literally).

Luckily for you, I've got some effective advice for surviving a Long Distance Relationship.

1. It's HARD work, so it needs EXTRA effort

Not nobody, but everybody has had something to say before you embarked on one of the hardest journeys ever: Keeping your relationship with that girl who is a 2 hour flight away from you or even worse, in a -8 hour timezone.

Have free text and minutes? Use it on your relationship.

No such luxury?

Make use of Skype, Oovoo (up to 6 people can video talk at once) or even Facetime through your swanky new iPhone 4s while shopping for groceries at downtown Tesco because you are missing that pasta dish she makes so well and recreating it will make you feel thaat much closer to her.

Facetime on the iPhone

Committed men tend to handle LDRs better (in my experience), but well, you know women.

Nag, nag, nag.

Whine, whine, whine.

Cry, cry, cry.

Dudeee. But you're still there for her because this distance hubba is just temporary and you really, really do love her.

Women in an LDR hate feeling insecure so any decreased activity in affection will result in an atomic bomb blowing up over the phone. Or even that dreaded text: I hate you I never want to talk to you again!

LDRs need even harder work and it tests the capability of the both of you whether you can weather the storm (of a couple of months, or even years).

Question is, can you take the extra mile?

I've witnessed quite a number of failed LDRs, and it's saddening to see how one just stops working on the relationship.

Love gives life, and life keeps you living. When love diminishes, it just brings death.

It's a fact. Heartbreak is painful.

I always say: A relationship shouldn't be a one-way road. Give and take.

That's how some LDRs are able to work. Each partner gives love, and both receives love. It's a win-win beneficial relationship which then grows and strengthens your bond.

2. Be Understanding

He's in a different time zone. She's working a night shift.

Don't give your partner beef because she wasn't on Skype at the promised time.

Creating fights when you are not in close proximity takes a longer time to heal so try not to get upset over trivial issues.

3. Communicate Daily

Here's one of the best advice on keeping a relationship strong. Long distance or not. You have to communicate with one another EVERY, SINGLE day (if you can).

Bollocks about "we're cool, we can just Skype over the weekend" crap. Events happen so quickly, especially if you're both busy that weekend chats will pass by in a blur.

You don't want to wait until the weekend to share your thoughts, experiences, etc. You might even forget the urgent issues and further widen the communication gap between you two.

Too tired? Text your lover goodnight, sending instructions where to meet you in your dreams. At least when your partner reaches home he'll be able to sleep with a smile on his face, knowing that you love him.

Communication builds a strong foundation of understanding, and you become more emphatic towards what your partner is experiencing in her part of the world.

4. Don't Stray

With or without an LDR. It's a no-no rule in the relationship bible.

Straying just because that chick was more convenient (right there to talk to, etc) is wrong.

Before you undress her with your eyes (and soon enough, fingers), imagine how YOU would feel if your girlfriend back home a thousand miles away happens to be doing the same exact act to a man who isn't you. Also, one who is possibly hotter, funnier & smarter than you?

Like shit, right?

So just don't do it. It's not worth losing your relationship.

5. Set Future Goals

A long distance relationship should always have an expiry date, so the both of you can expect when this long and tedious long distance relationship will end.

Remember. Internally, women have biological clocks and whether or not it has kicked in, if you can't give a definite answer when you are coming back chances are she might be looking elsewhere later on to not waste her time on you.

6. Keep the Spark ALIVE!

Long distance relationships are a breeding ground for inactivity and boredom, so relight that spark or keep it going on by being creative.

Surprise her with a visit, plan trips together, send her a handwritten love letter (e-mails just don't cut it, sorry. Letters have that 'raw' edge and really, when was the last time you received a personal love letter other than bills?), and loads more!

There are so many creative and cool ideas you can muster up (or source online) and present to your woman.

Even if some are downright lame, she'll applaud your initiative and this will earn you brownie points redeemable when you next see her... Now boys, wouldn't you want that? ;)

I hope that helped!

P.S: If you're asking if it's worth it being in a Long Distance Relationship... Well, if you can imagine yourself with that beautiful person in the future and it feels right, then by all means, follow your instinct!

Oh, and a Happy Rabbit Year to all!

- Saran

xx

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Brains vs Brawn

One of the oldest questions in the book:

Looks? Or Personality?

Imagine yourself stuck in the airport due to a delayed flight. You call for a latte in Starbucks, fight your way to the last free couch and triumphantly plop into it.

An hour or two later your veins are pumping with caffeine and you muster the courage to talk to that gorgeous girl sitting next to you. Also because you are dying with boredom.

It's happened.

You went for Looks.

We continue:

You then find out that the gorgeous girl; aptly named Sarah (after a few minutes of prodding into her life), is that next-door-girl you'd love to bring home to your parents. Dressed in your Sunday best for Sunday roast - you know it would be just perfect.

That's Personality.

But really, does this ever happen in real life?

The chance of you meeting the love of your life both of wit and grace in a Café? Hmmm. We'll wager on that.

Truth is, we hide our shallowness by answering in the latter. Personality. Why not?

Like a sundae, that delicious red cherry-on-top is just the icing on the cake. Underneath that cherry, is where the magic is.

However, the reality is a little less black and white. Men are in fact, more prone to the pursuit of a superficial 'ideal', parading their new trophy girlfriend with bursting pride or trading their old 'un for a young chick as soon as circumstance allows.

Is this an unfair generalisation? Hell yeah.

But guess what is even more unfair?

An okay-looking dude getting all the chicks. And they're hot.

Yeah. You've seen that scene before. The balding dude with two gorgeous women on his arms, hanging on to his every word or the loser of the pack (or so you thought) ending up with the hottest girl in school.

For most men, there is an obvious gap between:

Lust ------------------------------------------ Love

However for most women, the dividing line is confusingly blurred.

Sort of like this: Lust-Love

According to research done at a US university, women, like men, can - quite genuinely - be blinded in matters of love and lust.

But while a female's perfect physical attributes (broadly speaking) is all it takes to convince a disconcertingly larger number of men that this beautiful symmetrical woman is up for the challenge of a long-term companionship, a woman's blindness often works in reverse.

How?

Instead of the rippling biceps and triceps, you want to know what also turns a woman on?

Their M-I-N-D.

Oh yes.

A man's intellectual achievements, mutterings of tomorrow's plan for the complicated surgery, his close relationship with his family or simply a predisposition to be kind to that mangy mutt outside the chicken rice shop is all it takes to transform a stocky, balding nerd into Brad Pitt in the smitten woman's eyes.

Unfortunately men, this is true.

For example: A strong reason why I was attracted to a particular person was his great relationship with his parents, and the fact that he adores and is adored by his siblings. When I told him that, he brushed away my observation and proceeded to instead show the 'macho' side of himself.

The conclusion can only be this: I like a family-orientated man. The way he treats his family in the present, I feel, will be reflected in the way he will treat his future family. With tender love, and care (awww!).

So will it be Brains?

...or Brawn?

Saran

xx

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Worst Dates. Ever.

Now that must have gotten your attention ;)

I usually tend to block out 'bad' dates (I've actually not had that many bad dates) from memory but for some laughs and advice - I will try to remember them.

Here are some tips and advice for you men when you're trying to pick up a chick. Unless there is instant chemistry between the both of you, then it will take you extra effort to try not to be an "insensitive douchebag" and "cheap bastard".

Saying that, just because there is chemistry between you doesn't mean you can rest on your laurels. Be the best man you can ever be - women are very appreciative of your hard efforts.

Classic case before a date even happens:

1. Guy meets girl

2. Guy 'kinda likes' girl

3. Guy asks girl out.

Girl is clueless to Guy's growing feelings, so she says yes.

Guy gets nervous, and because men sometimes do not like sharing their feelings (their ego doesn't let them) they can be rather clueless on whether the planned date falls short, is adequate or over the top.

First dates, or a coupla dates down the road, you want things to go down well. So here are a few tips to keep in mind.

#Tip 1: Be Honest

No, I'm not talking about feelings. Yet.

But be honest on your preference of food, travel, place, etc. before you ask Girl on a date.

(maybe it's because men love to impress?)

The classic date always asks: What is your favourite food?

So off we go for sushi.

We order food, and I'm happily eating my salmon sashimi, picking out more and more from the sushi belt but I notice something else.

He's barely eating!

So here are some of the reasons I find out why:

1) He's not a big eater, but wants to impress me

2) He actually doesn't like sushi, but wants to impress me

On both these occasions, I genuinely thought the dude wanted to have some eats with me but as it turns out, he's got an appetite of a hibernating bear (aka. zilch), or even worse...he doesn't like that sort of food!

In their defence, it's all to impress the girl! (it's thoughtful, no doubt)

But in dating situations, men, it's got to be a WIN - WIN situation.

So be honest before making a date. Ask the Girl if she likes what YOU like.

"Hey, I heard a new chic place selling cupcakes and cakes just opened up. We should chill sometime."

"Ooooh I love cupcakes! Sure, why not?"

So don't be miserable trying out something you don't like.

Enjoy her company and enjoy whatever you're doing together with her!

Comfortable atmosphere + Guy loosens up = Girl notices = Guy earns brownie points :)

#Tip 2: Offer to Pay the Bill

You called her out for a date so it should only mean that you pick up the bill afterwards.

It's basic dating etiquette!

At least for the first few dates, pay for your date as well.

However, if you're tight on money - tell her in advance whether you'd like to go Dutch, or even better: find a cheaper option to go have your date!

She liked fine dining, and a meal costs just about 50 pounds/RM250 per person. He liked her a lot, and he decided to bring her out for her favourite fine dining in one of the finest restaurants in the city.

When the bill came he thought they were going Dutch and paid his share. She just looked at him questioningly, thinking he was paying!

When she realised he wasn't, she became upset and offended.

So she paid and left.

Sounds familiar to you? Both definitely have the means to pay but he didn't know his dating rules. So here's some advice:

• Plan your date ahead in time.
• Know your budget and if you are tight on the moolah, option for a cheaper place/activity.
• If you ask her out, pay.
• If she asks you out, you are not obliged to pay. However, do offer to pay AND pay ;) She'll remember you as charming.

(Sucks to be a guy, ey!)

#Tip 3: Check if She's Okay on the Day of the Date

Is she having the flu?

Chances are, if she really isn't up to it she'll cancel it. But if it's just a minor hiccup (pun intended), still, be considerate.

One 'bad' date I remember was when I was asked if I wanted to go for a walk up a hill in Scotland to see the beautiful sunset before having dinner.

Little did I know, the hill wasn't a hill. It was a bloody mountain. In fact, it was a volcano.

Now I don't mind trekking. But I also happened to be sick with the sniffles/flu due to the northern cold and because I didn't think we were walking too far I didn't wrap up warm enough.

Being the nice me, I just followed along.

Despite losing some precious bangles as I trudged through the bushes, achoo-ed and sniffled my way, and him forgetting to bring water - I did get some beautiful photographs and listen to a beautiful bagpipe player along the way:

I also didn't manage to walk to the peak of Arther's Seat due to the altitude and increasing cold winds. My flu and dehydration wasn't helping either.

He felt bad, and decided we go straight for dinner.

Before we left, we enjoyed the beautiful sun set closing in on the land - and he named the smaller hill after me.

The only thing that saved him?

He paid for dinner + dessert afterwards.

A year later, I managed to conquer that bloody volcano. Not only that, this time in Havaianas.

#Tip 4: Don't Talk About Your Ex (or not too much)

Women are naturally curious beings. We always want to be in the know. We also know that it's disastrous for us to know about women of your past but it's the same for men. Men don't know whether to conceal information on their exes or not.

I guess it's okay for you to say you've had exes, or even how long you were together. But refrain from giving more information such as:

When things weren't great, she threw flour and eggs at me in front of my football mates and started screaming at me! (true story)

or

I loved her so much and I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together blah blah blah....

If your date asks for details, don't tell. Don't even mention names.

Put your past behind you and focus on your beautiful date instead.

#Tip 5: Keep Your Date Short & Simple

Opt for cupcakes & tea (now you know what I like!) or a simple dinner, instead of a full-day routine.

Keep it short just in case things don't work out.

If it does, you'd want to save those longer activities for your 2nd and 3rd dates.

#Tip 6: Incorporate your Culture...Wisely

It's no taboo nowadays to date someone else from a different race or culture.

In the Western world it's perfectly fine to give a warm hug and kisses on the cheek. Do it in an Eastern setting and you just might be called a pervert and get a shove in return.

This wasn't a date, but it was a good friend of mine:

As we were walking back after a late lunch, talking, he suddenly shot his leg out and I tripped.

I. tripped.

A black cloud fell over my face at once.

I glared at him and angrily said: WTF did you just do to me?!

He just looked at me, lost for words. Sensing I was really upset, he decided to keep his mouth shut and walked me home. The hot and intense aura around us both could have melted ice-cubes. I was that angry.

Apparently, as a sign of friendship in Hong Kong - they play pranks on each other. Tripping friends from the front, or from the back.

I was appalled! That is so bloody rude!

Luckily for him, a Korean friend advised him from doing anymore future pranks on me.

p.s: He's still my friend!

So, guys. Don't do anything silly that would make your date upset!

Some cultural things are understandable, but keep all the mean pranks at bay. You shouldn't even think of it!

#Tip 7: Don't be Late

Creating that first impression is very important!

Prepare at least a day or two before. Plan your outfit, your fastest travel route, book the restaurant, etc.

Having her wait for you is a big NO-NO.

You should be waiting for her ;)

#Tip 8: Dress to Impress

Physical impressions have the biggest impacts so suit up, men!

A guy once picked me up in his hoodies and baggy jeans. Yep, that's ok.

Wait, I've seen that hoodie and jeans...didn't you just wear it yesterday? You also look scruffy...didn't manage to shave?

(Of course, I don't say it aloud). There just isn't any chemistry if the person doesn't look after his appearance well on a first date.

We girls look after ourselves well, so we don't see why men can't put in extra effort in looking good for their dates as well.

For example, I get quick heartbeats when my date is well-dressed; all pimped up and proper.

Straight leg jeans and a casual buttoned shirt never fails.

Full Scottish kilt gear? Totally sexy.

#Tip 9: Don't be Rude

1. Keep your strong views to yourself.

You want to avoid a heated argument over politics, religion, love, etc.

So stray from such topics and instead focus on her her her.

She's not your girlfriend (yet) so you don't have the luxury to cool down and say "That was a good debate honey, I love our intellectually stimulating conversations!".

2. Be confident

Be your natural self! Don't worry too much about having a great date. The most important thing is that you are enjoying being around her and vice versa.

Amuse her with your charming wit and jokes. A woman loves a humorous man.

Try not to be nervous.

I've seen men's hands trembling while handing me a drink, or when shaking my hand.

It makes me feel sorry for the guy...I'm really not scary!

3. Table Manners

Don't be rude to the waiter or waitress. Cursing and impatient? Not a great characteristic! It's just the same as when a woman judges a man's temperament while he's driving.

Don't order girly pink drinks. Enough said.

Disconnect to connect: Store your handphone away. Do not place it on the table as it's rude to answer smses, bbms, pings!, or even phone calls. Unless it's urgent.

#Tip 10: Make her feel like she's the most beautiful woman

Women love knowing that a man appreciates them.

When you see her, tell her she looks great (be genuine).

When she speaks, take an interest and join in the conversation. Don't speak in monosyllables.

A sarcastic person? Keep your sarcasm locked away until she gets used to you (ha ha). She may not take your brand of humour in the way that you intend.

Talk, listen, talk, laugh (in any order) - repeat this until the end of your date! ;)

Have you had any bad dates? Share them with us!

So good luck boys.

Saran

xx

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The Romantic Dinner: A Survival Guide (Part One)

The Romantic Dinner. 


A prerequisite for any modern relationship. 


Candlelight. Vintage Wine. Wagyu Steak. Fine Linen. Exorbitant Prices. Strolling Violinists. 

What should be a delightful time for two persons attracted to each other coming together for a meal can also be a high-pressure bubble about to burst at any given moment.


Specifically, high-pressure being the pressure to enjoy yourself amidst such formal surroundings and seemingly skyrocketing expectations from both parties. And this becomes counterproductive because more often than not, when you try to have a good time, you end up not having a good time at all. 

Thus, Straight Eye for the Straight Guy presents: 

"The Romantic Dinner: A Survival Guide".

Tip #1 - Be The Best Version of Yourself


Don't feel the need to be anyone other than yourself. In the long run, if she likes you, she should like you for you. That being said, during the Romantic Dinner, let her like you for the more cultured, informed, behaved you. 

Essentially, be yourself - but put these basic gentlemanly etiquette rules into practice:


1. Hold the door for her
2. Pull out her chair for her
3. Maintain a good posture
4. Speak slowly and make plenty of eye contact
5. Avoid brain vomit ("errr... ahhh.... ummm...")
6. Listen more than you speak (but not to the point of it becoming a one-sided interview. Offer your opinion every once in a while.)
7. Don't swear/berate others/be rude to the waiters
8. Focus on positive topics and avoid contentious/negative landmines (politics, death, criticism, etc)








Tip #2 What Not To Order



Apart from anything that contains more than a hint of garlic, these are the five dishes you might want to pass on:


1. Spaghetti Bolognese
Red sauce. Slurpy. Splatter. Expensive. Clothing.


Those 5 words alone should be convincing enough for you not to order the aforesaid Italian dish. Instead, if you must have something Italian, go for a healthier (and more hip) alternative - Spaghetti Aglio Olio.


2. Fried Chicken
Greasy. Impossible not to eat with your hands. Not attractive.


If you're dating a health-conscious chick, it gives her the impression that you're a person who doesn't really give a rat's bottom about health... before that premonition of you as a lardy 50 year old with a 40 inch waistline comes into her mind. 


Go for some grilled chicken breast instead. 

3. Spare Ribs
For the same reasons as item #2. 


4. Veal
The only thing worse than ordering meat while dating a PETA advocate is ordering meat that has never gotten the chance to experience a relatively full life. Even worse if the menu states "Baby Veal". 


5. Lobster 
Avoid for the same reasons as item #2 and #3. Unless you're both ordering it. 
Then again, nobody really looks good in a bib. 





To be continued.














Contains excerpts courtesy of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" by Ted Allen, Kyan Douglas, Thom Filicia, Carson Kressley and Jai Rodriguez.

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