The Romantic Dinner: A Survival Guide (Part One)

The Romantic Dinner. 


A prerequisite for any modern relationship. 


Candlelight. Vintage Wine. Wagyu Steak. Fine Linen. Exorbitant Prices. Strolling Violinists. 

What should be a delightful time for two persons attracted to each other coming together for a meal can also be a high-pressure bubble about to burst at any given moment.


Specifically, high-pressure being the pressure to enjoy yourself amidst such formal surroundings and seemingly skyrocketing expectations from both parties. And this becomes counterproductive because more often than not, when you try to have a good time, you end up not having a good time at all. 

Thus, Straight Eye for the Straight Guy presents: 

"The Romantic Dinner: A Survival Guide".

Tip #1 - Be The Best Version of Yourself


Don't feel the need to be anyone other than yourself. In the long run, if she likes you, she should like you for you. That being said, during the Romantic Dinner, let her like you for the more cultured, informed, behaved you. 

Essentially, be yourself - but put these basic gentlemanly etiquette rules into practice:


1. Hold the door for her
2. Pull out her chair for her
3. Maintain a good posture
4. Speak slowly and make plenty of eye contact
5. Avoid brain vomit ("errr... ahhh.... ummm...")
6. Listen more than you speak (but not to the point of it becoming a one-sided interview. Offer your opinion every once in a while.)
7. Don't swear/berate others/be rude to the waiters
8. Focus on positive topics and avoid contentious/negative landmines (politics, death, criticism, etc)








Tip #2 What Not To Order



Apart from anything that contains more than a hint of garlic, these are the five dishes you might want to pass on:


1. Spaghetti Bolognese
Red sauce. Slurpy. Splatter. Expensive. Clothing.


Those 5 words alone should be convincing enough for you not to order the aforesaid Italian dish. Instead, if you must have something Italian, go for a healthier (and more hip) alternative - Spaghetti Aglio Olio.


2. Fried Chicken
Greasy. Impossible not to eat with your hands. Not attractive.


If you're dating a health-conscious chick, it gives her the impression that you're a person who doesn't really give a rat's bottom about health... before that premonition of you as a lardy 50 year old with a 40 inch waistline comes into her mind. 


Go for some grilled chicken breast instead. 

3. Spare Ribs
For the same reasons as item #2. 


4. Veal
The only thing worse than ordering meat while dating a PETA advocate is ordering meat that has never gotten the chance to experience a relatively full life. Even worse if the menu states "Baby Veal". 


5. Lobster 
Avoid for the same reasons as item #2 and #3. Unless you're both ordering it. 
Then again, nobody really looks good in a bib. 





To be continued.














Contains excerpts courtesy of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" by Ted Allen, Kyan Douglas, Thom Filicia, Carson Kressley and Jai Rodriguez.