Life Tip #123: Sorry

So you messed up.

Big deal. 

We're human and humans mess up.

But next comes the apology... and this is when we inexcusably mess up.

This is how not to apologize:

"Alright fine I'm sorry, but I didn't do it on purpose *babble* *babble* *babble*"

When somebody is mad at you, the last thing that person wants to hear is excuses and reasons as to why you shouldn't be blamed. An emotional person whose emotions are clouded with disappointment and anger is unlikely to respond to any logical reasoning. At times like these, applying logical reasoning is akin to deepening the dagger. 

Instead, real men employ the most effective pacifying technique in the universe - a heartfelt sincere "I'm sorry." complete with accompanying remorseful body language. 

Kinda like this but more human-ish-ly.

And if you pissed off a mute person.

Though if you really feel the need to justify yourself, do so in the  following manner:

"Mortimer, I really didn't mean to run over your cat, but in any case, it's my fault and I'm sorry."

Last words matter. In any apology, end with "I'm sorry". Stating excuses after "I'm sorry" merely nullifies any effect your apology had in the first place. 

Happy apologizing!