The Style Commandments

Thou shalt not...

Wear white athletic socks with dress shoes

Athletic socks are called athletic socks exactly because they were made to be used solely for athletics. You might have been able to get away with wearing them under your green trousers in primary and secondary school, but that was just because everybody else was doing it. You're now a new man, so you need new socks.

In any case, a good pair of cotton black socks is never the wrong answer. If you're feeling adventurous, try patterned socks, but remember to choose a pair with dark shades as its base color. And the law dictates - no novelty socks! (e.g. Star Wars, Homer Simpson, Mickey Mouse patterns.)

Great style comes from having great socks.



Alright alright alright, a little riddle.


How many holes do you have in your socks?


None?


Then how'd you get your feet in?
Geddit? Geddit?

Hm. That seemed wayyy funnier when I was twelve.

Anyway. Socks are the undergarments for your feet as your boxers are for your crotch. As you wouldn't want little (or big, whatever makes you happy) Johnny peeking out through your underpants, similarly you don't want a toe burrowing its way out into the real world. Throw out those 'hole-y' socks and get new ones! Pronto!

You don't get any classier than this.





Wear a fanny pack

One or two people I've met have expressed to me their horror at the invention that is the fanny pack. Personally, I've sported it. Haha. I don't really see the issue with fanny packs. In my opinion, as long as the 'fanny pack' is made out of good material and is of a color that complements your entire getup, it can be a functional, convenient and practical tool, especially when you're hiking around a Lonely Planet destination and want to keep your hands free to ward off evil sand dune creatures.





On a serious note, some designers as of late have come up with updated renditions of the 'fanny pack'. Have a look:






The ugly ones should be called 'fanny packs' and the nicer ones should be called something less 'fanny' - like 'waist pouches'.


I cordially welcome enlightenment on this topic! Leave a comment if you wish.





Wear Crocs

There is probably no more-passionately-hated variety of footwear in the world today. In fact, Crocs Inc. stocks have plummeted recently due to a surge in I-Hate-Crocs campaigns.

I can think of a few advantages of Crocs though.

They're pretty durable... They're waterproof! They're...

Um yeah. That's about all I can think of.


Gotta give him kudos for trying.