Behavioral Hallmarks of the Confident Man (and Woman)

Shake it like a Polaroid picture!

Not your booty (although a post on how to do that may not be too far away), but rather your hands. Everybody needs to perfect the art of a good, firm handshake. Going step-by-step, the first thing you should do is extend your arm confidently (it's always good to be the person initiating the handshake) and offer your open hand to the other individual.


As he/she proceeds to grasp your hand in return, grasp his/her hand neither so loosely that you feel that your hand is in danger of slipping off, nor so tightly that your handshake partner appears to be on the brink of tears. The perfect handshake is always a confident, firm shake accompanied by a genuine, generous smile.

Smile (often)

Here's a couple of things really smart people have said about smiling:

"A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." - Charles Gordy

"People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile." -Lee Mildon

"I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful." - Author Unknown

"The shortest distance between two people is a smile." - Author Unknown

"Beauty is power; a smile is its sword." - Charles Reade

"Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important." - Janet Lane

I don't think I have anything to add to that.

Posture
Kurt Cobain could slouch all he wanted to and still get mobbed by thousands of adoring ladies. You can't... probably cause' you ain't no rock-star (if you are one, please get in touch).

Leave the slouching to the professionals.

One of the hallmarks of a confident man is excellent posture. Now I'm not talking about head up in the sky, back-bent-so-far-back-you-look-like-you're-doing-the-limbo posture. Excellent posture is characterized by what the medical community terms as 'neutral spine position', whereby the 3 curves of the spine {cervical (neck), thoracic (middle) and lumbar (lower)} are present and in proper alignment. Follow this link for medically prescribed exercises towards achieving perfect posture.

Look into my eyes
Ladies hate men who don't listen. And when someone is talking and you don't look at him/her, that's how things will seem. Now that's a mystery solved, innit!

To be an effective listener, you need to do more than examine her nose, mouth, hair and sneak a little glance at her chest every 5 seconds or so while she's talking to you. When you do the latter, I can promise you that more often than not, she's fully aware of it. They know what you're up to, but to save you the embarrassment, they often just let it slip.

Oh, she knows, alright.

To truly let someone know that you're listening and that you're sincerely interested in what they're saying, look into their eyes throughout the course of the conversation. Yeah, literally. Stare into their eyes if you must! (but be sure to keep a comfortable distance so as to not intrude within their 'personal space'.) That way, you'll be racking up the brownie points cause' no girl doesn't appreciate a guy who actually cares enough to listen and take the time to properly understand her.

Touching you, touching me

Before anyone even thinks about suing me for advocating sexual harassment, I have to make one thing clear - I said touching, not molesting.

During a conversation, a brief hand on the other person's shoulder/arm can do wonders for making a great first impression. Touching and being touched releases oxytocin, the hormone commonly associated with enveloping feelings of calmness, love and healing. Therefore the person you've touched will associate such positive feelings with your presence, going a long way in making a fantastic first impression.

A BRIEF hand on the other person's shoulder/arm (it also helps if you don't sport a 'whats-up-baby' expression while doing it.).

However, be sure to limit touching to a person's shoulders, arms, and upper back, as touching other parts of the body may potentially overstep sensitive physical/cultural borders. For example, the touching of someone's head may be interpreted as a belittling/patronizing act and the touching of a woman's lower back/legs/etc may (and in most cases, probably will) be interpreted as an act of harassment. And don't even ask about bums (little wink-outs to a few female friends of mine who enjoy the practice of bum-smacking - I don't know why, but apparently exceptions are often made when the smacker is a girl.).

Complimenting

There is a very real difference between complimenting and flattering somebody. The synonyms for flattering are sucking-up, grovelling, smothering a person with empty praises... whereas complimenting somebody is the art of subtly looking out for positive details about a person's appearance or demeanour, and letting them know that you care enough to have noticed. Nonetheless, when complimenting, it's essential to be genuine. You'd be surprised at how easily someone can tell if you offer them a compliment that's not from the heart.


Women often complain men don't compliment them enough. So guys, let's fix that.

If your girl is wearing an especially dazzling dress, don't just smirk and smile inside at how stunning she looks in it... tell her. If she's just come back from the hairdressers and her locks are looking lovely, tell her. If your wife has put in weeks of effort at the gym in order to lose that post-pregnancy belly, tell her... tell her just how much you love and appreciate her and all the little things she does for you - sometimes that's all a lady wants... and needs to hear.