Interview with a Shy Guy

Saran prodded me the other day, eager to answer one of womankind's most elusive questions - "What is the way to a shy guy's heart?". Personally, I'm not exactly a shy person, thus I sought answers from the source.


I sought out a shy guy.

The following individual shall not be named, because he is after all, shy. We will call him Sergio the Shy Senor and this is the raw excerpt of the interview that will answer the age old question


"How do you find your way into the heart of a shy guy?"


R: Happy New Year Sergio. You do realize that contributing to the advancement of womankind's advances towards mankind will surely be the noblest thing you do this year?


S: Undoubtedly so.

R: Allow me to spare you any more niceties and get straight to the point. What is the best way to tap into a shy guy's heart?


S: Oh this is the question that Saran chick wants to know the answer to, right?


R: That is correct.


S: Does she want to tap into my heart?


R: No. 


S: Dang.


    Wait. So you're saying I'm a shy guy???


R: That is correct.


S: Ok. I admit. I am a shy guy.


R: But one thing is for sure. Some ladies can't tell. Some of them might just see you as being stone-cold awesome cool. Apparently to them, cool quiet guys > babbling idiots. 


S: For real?


R: How would you feel if a woman came up directly to you and told you she was into you?


S: I would be stunned. It would be better if she just came up and had a casual chat with me.


R: How should her approach be like, specifically? Just walk up to you and say "Hello my name is Hotchick Lee?"


S: That works if we're in a social gathering. But... if we're in a public place, I don't think that would be a good idea. 


R: Why wouldn't it be a good idea?


S: As a shy guy, frankly, I wouldn't know how to react. Perhaps it's a matter of experience as well. Repeated exposure would wear off the nervousness and allow me to loosen up a bit and be myself.

R: Mmm hmm.


S:  Perhaps if both parties had mutual friends, it would be great if our mutual friends could introduce us.


R: Chickenshit.


    


     I'm kidding.


     How would you feel if the woman was the one asking you out instead of vice versa?


S: You called me chickenshit!


R: I was joking. Get over it. And besides, it'll look good on the blog.


S: Are you sure?


R: Yes. Now answer the question.


S: I'm actually fine with being asked out. In the past, when that happened, I used to get defensive and ask who else would be coming along. But nowadays, I'll just go along with it.


    And uh oh yeah, chatting online is a good idea! The Internet somehow makes me feel more     secure. 


R: That's creepy. In a good way. 


S: Thank you.


R: Are you okay with the idea of a woman dominating the conversation? Or does that scare you off?


S: Dominating... as in more than 80% of it?


R: More like 77.25%


S: In the context of this conversation there is no real difference between 80% and 77.25%.


R: Yeah. I was just trying to be funny. Now you've ruined it by rationalizing it. 


S: Oh. My bad.


    Back to your question. Somehow... I think I would mind if a woman dominated the conversation. But at the same time, I would prefer her to be rather chatty. The reason being that sometimes I tend to just run out of interesting topics.


    In fact I think a conversation should run both ways. I know men tend to talk less, but sometimes, we still have profound things to say.

    There was this one time when I went out with a girl who talked a lot. I don't mind chatterboxes to be honest. But she pretty much spent the entire evening talking about nothing but herself. Every single time I tried to put forth my views, she immediately changed the topic back to herself. It was really annoying.


R: Amen brother. I'm annoyed now myself. 


S: Hey, but this is different. You're interviewing me.


R: You know that rationalization-ruining-jokes thing I mentioned earlier?


S: Point taken.


R: So how did the date end?


S: In peace. I didn't cut her tongue out or anything. But let's just say I got to know her A LOT better.


R: Haha. That last line was pretty funny actually.


     I'm assuming you wouldn't ask her out again?


S: D to the UH, my brother.


R: Uh-huh. So what would be your idea of an ideal date?


S: A long dinner... at a place where we could both chat about ourselves and get to know each other better.

R: So no over-the-top dates that draw too much attention to yourselves, I presume? You lean toward the quiet and toned-down scenarios?


S: Yup. Maybe for the first two or three dates at least, while we're building a comfort zone around each other. After that, I'd get to know what the girl's interests are... and then perhaps we could try them out and see if I would be comfortable.


R: Would you mind sharing with the world your best date experience to date (puns, puns, puns everywhere!)?


S: You know R, to be honest, I've only been on maybe 4 dates. They all ended after the first date, because I didn't think we could get along well. 


    I think the key is simply to have conversations that both parties can appreciate. 


R: That's perfect. I think this might be getting a little long for blog posting purposes. Can I post your photo on the blog by the way?


S: I'm fine with you posting this conversation... but my photo? I'm shy remember?


R: Oh yes. Silly me.

Summary: Shy Guys 101

• Don't approach one in a public place. Look for opportunities within more intimate social settings, e.g. parties, group dinners, group activities, etc.
• Don't be overly direct with how you feel towards Mr. Shy Guy. Ease him in with casual conversation to get things going.
• If you both have mutual friends, use em'. 
• If both of you have Instant Messaging (Whatsapp, MSN, Skype), use it.
• There is no rule against you making the first move and asking him out. Do it subtly of course.
• Talk about mutually interesting topics. Shy guys (and guys in general) like Sergio do not enjoy the company of self-centered women.
• In fact, since you're dealing with a shy guy, gently ask him questions about himself and things that are important to him to get him to open up and feel comfortable. 
• No open-mic night crowd participation first dates. Keep it simple with quiet dinners that are conducive for non-threatening, deep, meaningful conversation.
• As far as possible, be cool with him rationalizing every joke you make. 

Till next time.