Worst Dates. Ever.

Now that must have gotten your attention ;)

I usually tend to block out 'bad' dates (I've actually not had that many bad dates) from memory but for some laughs and advice - I will try to remember them.

Here are some tips and advice for you men when you're trying to pick up a chick. Unless there is instant chemistry between the both of you, then it will take you extra effort to try not to be an "insensitive douchebag" and "cheap bastard".

Saying that, just because there is chemistry between you doesn't mean you can rest on your laurels. Be the best man you can ever be - women are very appreciative of your hard efforts.

Classic case before a date even happens:

1. Guy meets girl

2. Guy 'kinda likes' girl

3. Guy asks girl out.

Girl is clueless to Guy's growing feelings, so she says yes.

Guy gets nervous, and because men sometimes do not like sharing their feelings (their ego doesn't let them) they can be rather clueless on whether the planned date falls short, is adequate or over the top.

First dates, or a coupla dates down the road, you want things to go down well. So here are a few tips to keep in mind.

#Tip 1: Be Honest

No, I'm not talking about feelings. Yet.

But be honest on your preference of food, travel, place, etc. before you ask Girl on a date.

(maybe it's because men love to impress?)

The classic date always asks: What is your favourite food?

So off we go for sushi.

We order food, and I'm happily eating my salmon sashimi, picking out more and more from the sushi belt but I notice something else.

He's barely eating!

So here are some of the reasons I find out why:

1) He's not a big eater, but wants to impress me

2) He actually doesn't like sushi, but wants to impress me

On both these occasions, I genuinely thought the dude wanted to have some eats with me but as it turns out, he's got an appetite of a hibernating bear (aka. zilch), or even worse...he doesn't like that sort of food!

In their defence, it's all to impress the girl! (it's thoughtful, no doubt)

But in dating situations, men, it's got to be a WIN - WIN situation.

So be honest before making a date. Ask the Girl if she likes what YOU like.

"Hey, I heard a new chic place selling cupcakes and cakes just opened up. We should chill sometime."

"Ooooh I love cupcakes! Sure, why not?"

So don't be miserable trying out something you don't like.

Enjoy her company and enjoy whatever you're doing together with her!

Comfortable atmosphere + Guy loosens up = Girl notices = Guy earns brownie points :)

#Tip 2: Offer to Pay the Bill

You called her out for a date so it should only mean that you pick up the bill afterwards.

It's basic dating etiquette!

At least for the first few dates, pay for your date as well.

However, if you're tight on money - tell her in advance whether you'd like to go Dutch, or even better: find a cheaper option to go have your date!

She liked fine dining, and a meal costs just about 50 pounds/RM250 per person. He liked her a lot, and he decided to bring her out for her favourite fine dining in one of the finest restaurants in the city.

When the bill came he thought they were going Dutch and paid his share. She just looked at him questioningly, thinking he was paying!

When she realised he wasn't, she became upset and offended.

So she paid and left.

Sounds familiar to you? Both definitely have the means to pay but he didn't know his dating rules. So here's some advice:

• Plan your date ahead in time.
• Know your budget and if you are tight on the moolah, option for a cheaper place/activity.
• If you ask her out, pay.
• If she asks you out, you are not obliged to pay. However, do offer to pay AND pay ;) She'll remember you as charming.

(Sucks to be a guy, ey!)

#Tip 3: Check if She's Okay on the Day of the Date

Is she having the flu?

Chances are, if she really isn't up to it she'll cancel it. But if it's just a minor hiccup (pun intended), still, be considerate.

One 'bad' date I remember was when I was asked if I wanted to go for a walk up a hill in Scotland to see the beautiful sunset before having dinner.

Little did I know, the hill wasn't a hill. It was a bloody mountain. In fact, it was a volcano.

Now I don't mind trekking. But I also happened to be sick with the sniffles/flu due to the northern cold and because I didn't think we were walking too far I didn't wrap up warm enough.

Being the nice me, I just followed along.

Despite losing some precious bangles as I trudged through the bushes, achoo-ed and sniffled my way, and him forgetting to bring water - I did get some beautiful photographs and listen to a beautiful bagpipe player along the way:

I also didn't manage to walk to the peak of Arther's Seat due to the altitude and increasing cold winds. My flu and dehydration wasn't helping either.

He felt bad, and decided we go straight for dinner.

Before we left, we enjoyed the beautiful sun set closing in on the land - and he named the smaller hill after me.

The only thing that saved him?

He paid for dinner + dessert afterwards.

A year later, I managed to conquer that bloody volcano. Not only that, this time in Havaianas.

#Tip 4: Don't Talk About Your Ex (or not too much)

Women are naturally curious beings. We always want to be in the know. We also know that it's disastrous for us to know about women of your past but it's the same for men. Men don't know whether to conceal information on their exes or not.

I guess it's okay for you to say you've had exes, or even how long you were together. But refrain from giving more information such as:

When things weren't great, she threw flour and eggs at me in front of my football mates and started screaming at me! (true story)

or

I loved her so much and I thought we were going to spend the rest of our lives together blah blah blah....

If your date asks for details, don't tell. Don't even mention names.

Put your past behind you and focus on your beautiful date instead.

#Tip 5: Keep Your Date Short & Simple

Opt for cupcakes & tea (now you know what I like!) or a simple dinner, instead of a full-day routine.

Keep it short just in case things don't work out.

If it does, you'd want to save those longer activities for your 2nd and 3rd dates.

#Tip 6: Incorporate your Culture...Wisely

It's no taboo nowadays to date someone else from a different race or culture.

In the Western world it's perfectly fine to give a warm hug and kisses on the cheek. Do it in an Eastern setting and you just might be called a pervert and get a shove in return.

This wasn't a date, but it was a good friend of mine:

As we were walking back after a late lunch, talking, he suddenly shot his leg out and I tripped.

I. tripped.

A black cloud fell over my face at once.

I glared at him and angrily said: WTF did you just do to me?!

He just looked at me, lost for words. Sensing I was really upset, he decided to keep his mouth shut and walked me home. The hot and intense aura around us both could have melted ice-cubes. I was that angry.

Apparently, as a sign of friendship in Hong Kong - they play pranks on each other. Tripping friends from the front, or from the back.

I was appalled! That is so bloody rude!

Luckily for him, a Korean friend advised him from doing anymore future pranks on me.

p.s: He's still my friend!

So, guys. Don't do anything silly that would make your date upset!

Some cultural things are understandable, but keep all the mean pranks at bay. You shouldn't even think of it!

#Tip 7: Don't be Late

Creating that first impression is very important!

Prepare at least a day or two before. Plan your outfit, your fastest travel route, book the restaurant, etc.

Having her wait for you is a big NO-NO.

You should be waiting for her ;)

#Tip 8: Dress to Impress

Physical impressions have the biggest impacts so suit up, men!

A guy once picked me up in his hoodies and baggy jeans. Yep, that's ok.

Wait, I've seen that hoodie and jeans...didn't you just wear it yesterday? You also look scruffy...didn't manage to shave?

(Of course, I don't say it aloud). There just isn't any chemistry if the person doesn't look after his appearance well on a first date.

We girls look after ourselves well, so we don't see why men can't put in extra effort in looking good for their dates as well.

For example, I get quick heartbeats when my date is well-dressed; all pimped up and proper.

Straight leg jeans and a casual buttoned shirt never fails.

Full Scottish kilt gear? Totally sexy.

#Tip 9: Don't be Rude

1. Keep your strong views to yourself.

You want to avoid a heated argument over politics, religion, love, etc.

So stray from such topics and instead focus on her her her.

She's not your girlfriend (yet) so you don't have the luxury to cool down and say "That was a good debate honey, I love our intellectually stimulating conversations!".

2. Be confident

Be your natural self! Don't worry too much about having a great date. The most important thing is that you are enjoying being around her and vice versa.

Amuse her with your charming wit and jokes. A woman loves a humorous man.

Try not to be nervous.

I've seen men's hands trembling while handing me a drink, or when shaking my hand.

It makes me feel sorry for the guy...I'm really not scary!

3. Table Manners

Don't be rude to the waiter or waitress. Cursing and impatient? Not a great characteristic! It's just the same as when a woman judges a man's temperament while he's driving.

Don't order girly pink drinks. Enough said.

Disconnect to connect: Store your handphone away. Do not place it on the table as it's rude to answer smses, bbms, pings!, or even phone calls. Unless it's urgent.

#Tip 10: Make her feel like she's the most beautiful woman

Women love knowing that a man appreciates them.

When you see her, tell her she looks great (be genuine).

When she speaks, take an interest and join in the conversation. Don't speak in monosyllables.

A sarcastic person? Keep your sarcasm locked away until she gets used to you (ha ha). She may not take your brand of humour in the way that you intend.

Talk, listen, talk, laugh (in any order) - repeat this until the end of your date! ;)

Have you had any bad dates? Share them with us!

So good luck boys.

Saran

xx