Mommy, what's a "sexual"?

As of late, I've come to the realization that a majority of the physically fit, well dressed men I know are gay. Something like 6.5 out of 10. 


In addition, the stereotypical "gay" man, contrary to popular belief, isn't necessarily built like a rake and doesn't necessarily walk with a sway nor trot around with a glittery Prada clutch. 

Many of today's gay men, are in fact, somewhat refined versions of man - impeccable posture, outstanding interpersonal skills, well read, witty, humorous and of course, as the women would say - fine physical specimens. 

Rupert Everett - didn't see that coming, did ya?

Nonetheless, it has come to my understanding that within the dynamics of a homosexual relationship, there are 2 main roles - the gayer and the gayee. 


The gayer plays the role of the ... giver, whilst the gayee - the receiver. No elaboration necessary. 

The gayee apparently fits the mold of the stereotypical perception of a gay man - soft, feminine and all things sway-able. Whereas the gay-er couldn't be further from that - a manly, dominant presence, often indistinguishable from a metro-sexual straight man.








But what do I know? I can't really tell the difference between a homosexual and a metro-sexual myself, unlike 62% of readers. 










And uh... a "sexual" is er... a kind of bird, young man (13%). Yes, yes, yes... it's nothing but a species of bird. Or bee. 

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Life Tip #126: YOU

When you're aiming to sell something or convince somebody to your way of thought, remember the golden rule of the individualistic world - it's all about them. 

Take for example a salesman selling product X. 


He can pitch the product in one of two ways:




Way number one (which happens to be the way in which most salesmen pitch products)


Hello Sir. Let you tell you about product X. With product X, we have the latest technology available in your field. Product X is flawless. Product X is perfect. Product X is revolutionary. Product X is awesome, radical, bodacious, dude. 








Way number two (how salesmen should be pitching their products)


Hello Sir. I could go on all day about the merits of product X. But I'm not here to waste your time. Instead of singing product X's praises in the next 10 minutes of this conversation which you have already kindly taken the time out for, allow me to get straight to whats relevant - that is, what product X can do for you. 


Product X is a great product because it has the potential to expand your business. Product X is particularly useful for improving this particular aspect of your enterprise. Product X has the potential of solving all your woes by revolutionizing the way you carry out your business.










In this world of "me, myself and I", selling a product entails not telling a customer how good a product is. Chances are, they may already know of the product's merits. The way to really sell something is to tell that person how good the product is for them - namely how the product can benefit them. Not only does this work in the context of sales, but virtually any situation in which you have to convince somebody to your stand. 




Two very similar messages can be phrased in two very different ways. And sometimes, that's the crucial difference between pop and flop. Try it. You'll love it. 

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Guybrows

I've always considered myself a metro-sexual. Nevertheless, there are certain territories into which I do not/have not ventured - speedos (not anymore, at least), boots, suspenders, waxing... eyebrow shaping - till about 3 months ago, to be exact. 

Now, dressing well and personal grooming is all fine and dandy. But like any other straight guy, I yearn to maintain a reasonable sense of manliness - in other words, I don't want to go to such lengths of metro-sexuality so as to be consistently mistaken for a homosexual (this comes with absolutely no disrespect to all homosexual friends/readers). But with the aid and coercion of my wife, I recently succumbed to one session of eyebrow plucking. I experienced two revelations after my fateful showdown with the tweezers: 

1. Eyebrow plucking HURTS

nevertheless,

2. Eyebrow plucking is ESSENTIAL

Pain and necessity - now who'd have thought I'd be linking the two in one breath. Rhetorical question.

The reality is many straight men are afraid. Afraid of anything that exceeds the vanity level of combing their hair, slapping on moisturizer and putting together a decent outfit. Anything that exceeds the aforesaid vanity level instantly falls into a threshold of discomfort where many a straight man would never dare venture. 

But fellas, I'm telling you - man to man, heart to heart - get those eyebrows plucked.

Sure, the initial pain might be slightly uncomfortable - but it won't kill you (being badly groomed in today's dog-eat-dog world, though, might). The eyebrows are only one of the most important, defining facial features God laid down on that mug of yours - eyebrows serve as the curtains of the windows to your soul (your eyes). A neatly shaped pair adds aesthetic definition and intensity to the surrounding area; and healthy, well-groomed eyebrows also serve as a subconscious indicator of health and youthful vigor. Try it - chances are you'll be pleasantly surprised how much a little eyebrow tweaking can do for your entire outlook. 

Plucking your eyebrows can create a very desirable 'natural-arch' which creates an intense 'James Bond'-esque stare

That being said, caution must be exercised when performing the said procedure - overly shaped, over-the-top eyebrows as opposed to natural-looking, tidy eyebrows only serve to make you look more like Prince instead of Pierce (Brosnan) . When it comes to guybrows, the guiding principle is not so much to "shape" them as to just "cleaning them up". My advice is to go to a salon that specializes in men's eyebrow shaping as opposed to a general salon that is likely to have done most of its work on female clients. 

And to all my compadres who have been blessed with the gift of the unibrow - you're first in line.

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A Better Man

Currently enjoying the pina coladas, the sunshine, the sea-breeze and the sun-kissed sands that Thailand has to offer and a thought comes to mind: the vast amount of men populating the streets of the world (including those right here in Krabi) who could look immensely better with nothing more than a pinch of effort. 




A dash of the gym here, a slight wardrobe tweak there, a little bit of focus on posture and disposition everywhere... and virtually any Tom, Harry and Dick could look like an extremely better-looking Tom, Harry and Dick. Almost instantly. 








If any of you (especially the ladies) have ever wondered why there are a lack of attractive, eligible men out there, it's really not so much that God omitted to create the aforesaid genre of man. Rather, the reason that there are relatively more attractive women around as compared to men is because the ladies care about how they look, and thus put in the requisite effort and time in grooming. On the other hand, many straight men are nonchalant or in many cases, simply afraid to invest in personal grooming for fear of being labelled 'soft' or being stereotyped as non-heterosexual. 






In addition to grooming, character and disposition is equally, if not more, important. Today's man must seek out and obtain the development of personal skills such as public speaking, mingling, small-talk, social niceties, formal protocol and tasteful jesting. 








Straight Eye for the Straight Guy claims no expertise in any of the above fields, but it is our collective hope that whatever knowledge and information picked up and passed along to you will be for your betterment and personal enjoyment. Good night and Godspeed.

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