Older Women & Younger Men: UPDATED

"Greetings Rudi!

I really enjoy reading your blog. It's like food for thought.

Anyhoo, I've always been wondering:

Do ladies mind when it comes to their respective partner's age? I noticed that when a guy is 5 to 8 years older than his lady, it's not a very big deal... BUT not vice versa. Even if the guy is younger by 1 or 2 years, it's like a huge barrier for the ladies! Why is that?!

Yours truly,
Joanne :)"


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Greetings Joanne!!!


I really enjoy the fact that you enjoy the blog. It's food for my blogging soul. 


That's a very legitimate question, Joanne. Primitive society has traditionally frowned upon the notion of an older woman and a younger man, but disproportionately embraced the phenomenon of the older (and usually richer) man who keeps a collection of virile young beauties, even putting the latter man on a pedestal. You needn't look further than the most well-known pajama wearing publisher on the face of the earth.  

This stereotype stems from the age-old notion of men being the designated providers in the family unit. Older men, usually being more accomplished financially and in most cases, emotionally, pose a very attractive proposition for a younger woman. That is contrasted to the typical notion of a younger man - virile, athletic, reckless, fun and all other things irresponsible. 

The younger man appeals to the older woman because today's older woman can hold her own financially, not needing to rely on a male any longer for providence. Therefore, in very frank terms - the older woman, instead of having to worry about money, can focus her attention towards her carnal desires - i.e. identifying a mate who can provide her with eye candy and maximum physical satisfaction. Nevertheless, it's apparent from the term used to describe such women - a "cougar" - that there is still prejudice attached to women who like younger men, implying that such women go against the ideal female prototype - one who is demure, coy and often is the subject of the chase instead of the chaser. 


On the flip-side, the younger man is attracted to the older woman for a myriad of reasons - confidence, maturity, decisiveness, experience, and so on. In fact, in an informal study I recently conducted (involving a grand total of 10 men), 90% of males aged 18-26 surveyed said that they didn't mind/preferred older women. 


This is in stark contrast to a similar informal questionnaire (of 15 women) which asked women aged 18-26 if they would date a younger man - 33.3% gave a wholehearted "No", 33.3% said "Yes" with the qualification that the man must be sufficiently mature whereas only the remaining one-third of participants gave a full "Yes" when it came to the prospect of dating a junior man. 


The aforementioned results indicate an anomalous situation where younger men are more than willing to get their hands/hearts on older women who are quantitatively not as keen on the idea as men are. Thus, Joanne, it may be inferred that a significant barrier to older woman - younger man relationships lies not with men, but rather, women. In addition, relative age appears to be a enhancing factor when it comes to attraction for men and women alike (with the qualification that excessive age is likely to have the opposite effect). 


It's submitted that perhaps, in an egotistical sense, a younger man achieves a sense of pride when he successfully captures the affections of an older woman. As opposed to a younger woman (who is generally perceived as being more easily swayed by status, money and power), drawing the attention of an older woman impliedly demonstrates that he is indeed a stud who, despite his inexperience and lack of temporal accomplishments, has succeeded in charming an older woman who is higher up the ladder of life than he is. In other words, she wants him for his arse. And ladies... you don't know just how much that does for the average male ego.




In conclusion, although its true that there are still many societies who are still conservative when it comes to older woman - younger man relationships, a small age difference (up to 3 or 4 years) no longer raises eyebrows, especially if the younger man is also financially stable and reasonably accomplished in his own respect. Furthermore, if modern culture continues to evolve in its current direction with more and more women holding their own in the corporate world and all other avenues of society, the house-husband phenomenon may indeed soon become a norm. 

At the end of the day, Joanne, love knows no boundaries - be it ethnicity, social status and most certainly, age. Different men and women will mature at different rates, and thus, if you've found somebody who shares the same core values and principles as you, somebody who's everything you ever wanted, somebody who loves you as much as you love him...but his parents just decided to get jiggy a few years later than your parents did... give the fellow a shot. People may talk, but when all is said and done - age isn't a big deal. Love is. 












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