The Style Commandments

Thou shalt not...

Wear white athletic socks with dress shoes

Athletic socks are called athletic socks exactly because they were made to be used solely for athletics. You might have been able to get away with wearing them under your green trousers in primary and secondary school, but that was just because everybody else was doing it. You're now a new man, so you need new socks.

In any case, a good pair of cotton black socks is never the wrong answer. If you're feeling adventurous, try patterned socks, but remember to choose a pair with dark shades as its base color. And the law dictates - no novelty socks! (e.g. Star Wars, Homer Simpson, Mickey Mouse patterns.)

Great style comes from having great socks.



Alright alright alright, a little riddle.


How many holes do you have in your socks?


None?


Then how'd you get your feet in?
Geddit? Geddit?

Hm. That seemed wayyy funnier when I was twelve.

Anyway. Socks are the undergarments for your feet as your boxers are for your crotch. As you wouldn't want little (or big, whatever makes you happy) Johnny peeking out through your underpants, similarly you don't want a toe burrowing its way out into the real world. Throw out those 'hole-y' socks and get new ones! Pronto!

You don't get any classier than this.





Wear a fanny pack

One or two people I've met have expressed to me their horror at the invention that is the fanny pack. Personally, I've sported it. Haha. I don't really see the issue with fanny packs. In my opinion, as long as the 'fanny pack' is made out of good material and is of a color that complements your entire getup, it can be a functional, convenient and practical tool, especially when you're hiking around a Lonely Planet destination and want to keep your hands free to ward off evil sand dune creatures.





On a serious note, some designers as of late have come up with updated renditions of the 'fanny pack'. Have a look:






The ugly ones should be called 'fanny packs' and the nicer ones should be called something less 'fanny' - like 'waist pouches'.


I cordially welcome enlightenment on this topic! Leave a comment if you wish.





Wear Crocs

There is probably no more-passionately-hated variety of footwear in the world today. In fact, Crocs Inc. stocks have plummeted recently due to a surge in I-Hate-Crocs campaigns.

I can think of a few advantages of Crocs though.

They're pretty durable... They're waterproof! They're...

Um yeah. That's about all I can think of.


Gotta give him kudos for trying.

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The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Wear

I was reading a certain mens' magazine recently (the kind with the good articles), when I came across an interesting poll.

The poll's results revealed that the majority of women think that the sexiest thing a man can wear is...




not...




the perennial Tuxedo,






not...



the Italian swim trunk





not...



the 'Birthday Suit'



No photo you dimwit. Children are reading this.



The outfit that beat them all for the title of 'The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Wear' was none other than...





the White T-Shirt and Jeans combo









Has that particular mens' magazine committed a grave injustice? Or was it spot on?

You have permission to rant.

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Accessorize, Mesmerize, Magnetize

Accessorizing - the word alone is enough to make any straight man recoil in horror.

But wait. Look at your hands - that ring on that index finger of yours. That's an accessory. Your wrists - Tag Heuer, no less - an accessory. Your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles backpack you used to carry to kintergarden? Son, you've been accessorizing even before you even knew how to count to three.

So don't fear the man-accessory. Embrace it and use it to your full advantage. Here are a couple of accessories every man should own.

The 'Man-Bag'

The man bag is the male counterpart of a woman's handbag. Where carrying around a handbag will make you look positively queer, the 'man bag' is instead designed to be a functional, chic and practical (there's that magic word!) alternative for the everyday man to keep his necessities (laptop, documents, sunglasses, etc) in check.

There are several 'man bag' varieties available out there, but the golden rule is to avoid anything that is too small to keep a standard sized laptop in.

A little (OK, a lot) too small.

A little too big.

Perfection - The classic messenger bag.

You can almost never go wrong with a smartly constructed good quality leather bag. Think of it this way - bags made from nylon/artificial materials are to milk as leather bags are to fine wine. The former will eventually turn bad, but the latter can only get better with age.

Two kinds of travel bags I think men should invest in are Samsonite briefcases (for corporate types) and duffel/tote bags (for weekends away).

Even Kanye's a believer.

A black leather duffel tote bag.

I don't think most of you will go this far, but remember that as far as possible, even when it comes to your bags, match your leathers (i.e. black leather belt, black leather shoes, black leather watch, black leather duffel tote bag).

The formula for looking rich and successful is simple - a black leather Samsonite briefcase + bespoke business suit.

And you'll still look important even if all you're carrying in that bag is the packed lunch your mother prepared.

Sunglasses

The art of choosing the right pair of sunglasses deserves a post of its own, but anyway, here are some pointers to get you going:

• When faced with a choice between two frames, always go for the simpler one. Flamboyant frames are really never the answer unless your aim is to look "totally fabulous". And you're straight right? If you are, you don't want to look "totally fabulous".
• The size of your sunglasses should be proportional to the size of your face - smaller sunglasses for smaller faces; larger sunglasses for larger faces. The frame shape should contrast with (that is, be the opposite of) the shape of your face.
• Classic frames (e.g. Wayfarers, Aviators) never go out of style and complement almost anybody
  

The classics: Aviators and Wayfarers, both by Ray Ban

The Pocket Square

Again this goes back to one of the most sacred rules of style: last thing on, first thing noticed. Pocket squares may seem like an insignificant final addition to the average straight man, but again I must reiterate, last thing on, first thing noticed! Behold the two following exhibits:

The pocket square on this gentleman's jacket is expertly matched to the white tones in this 2 tone-ensemble and instantly adds a touch of candor and sophistication to an otherwise uninspiring getup.

Photographic evidence that women dig guys who wear pocket squares.

Cufflinks

We men don't really have as much variety and spice in clothing options as compared to the fairer sex - most of what we wear are variations of suits, shirts, polo tees and trousers in different fabrics... thus, accessorizing is vital for the sake of your individuality. And think of cuff-links as your paintbrushes on the canvas of your individuality (i.e. your french-cuffed shirts).

Attractive woman: "Oh my word, he's wearing CUFFLINKS!"

There are no strict rules when it comes to choosing cufflinks. However, to be safe, opt for platinum, white gold, silver and steel. Gold seldom looks good on anyone under 40 and is also generally harder to match.

Watches

Similar rules apply to watches - gold is always a no-no if you're under 40 and don't have a great tan. That being said, you can never go wrong with a nice strong steel watch. Gay men sometimes look at another man's watch to make an educated guess as to that person's sexual orientation. Strong steel watches lean toward a "I like women" sentiment, so if you're not one who walks on the wild side, think steel.

If you're a man of exceptional style and class, consider watches with a leather strap. Again, keep in mind the rule on matching leathers (brown leather watch, brown leather belt, brown leather shoes). Aim to own one black leather and one brown leather strap watch. Black leather is great for formal/business events whereas brown leather carries across a sense of casual-coolness with a tinge of rebellion.

And guys, repeat me after me: sports watches are exactly as their name implies - strictly for sports.

Jewelery

There's nothing wrong (or gay) with wearing rings, but keep in mind that wearing anything more than one ring is pushing it. Again, white gold and silver will be your top choices. Save the diamonds for your other halves and gold rings for the tanned 40-somethings of this world.

I honestly can't say much about earrings. Apparently there is a stigma that wearing an earring on your left (or was it right?) ear is literally indicative of your sexual preference. In any case, less is always more when it comes to jewelry.

But yet again I have to qualify that although these guidelines will work for almost every man, there is a particular section of society which does not play by the rules (and can get away with it).

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Honey Do I Look Fat In This?

I was talking to a good friend the other day, and she told me a tale of an acquaintance of hers who is going on a one-apple-a-meal diet in order to lose weight to please her boyfriend. And this said acquaintance was originally not even anywhere near overweight. It broke my heart.


Ladies,


I have the utmost respect and understanding for the everyday woman's struggle in weight loss - society and pop culture ingrains in women the desire to be as thin as models gracing magazine covers and working the runways, and in men, the need to be broad and muscular like every big-screen action hero. Our culture has effectively dictated that women need to be rake thin and men need to be lean and mean in order to be loved and deemed as attractive. And we know everybody just wants to be loved :)




Sad to say, the trend towards the ideal man is healthier by leaps and bounds as compared to the expectations placed on the fairer sex. In order to achieve society's desired template, men are driven to put in hours exercising at the gym and eating copious amounts of food (an important qualification being some who pump themselves silly with supplements and steroids). On the other hand, in order to achieve the look of the "ideal woman", ladies are pushed towards a lifestyle of self-starvation and self-denial of the most basic of human indulgences - Ben & Jerry's, Cheesecake, Apple pie, Sarawak Laksa... opting instead to go to such lengths as eating a wheat biscuit and watercress leaves for lunch! And when you encounter such statistics as 1 in 200 American women are suffering from anorexia, it becomes evident that striving to become the ideal woman is supremely more unhealthy than the quest to become the ideal man.



I am here because I feel the status quo must be changed before many more innocent lives are put at stake for this very false idea of beauty. Curvier and more voluptuous women appeal to a broad range of men owing to inbuilt instincts that characterize ample bosoms and full posteriors as indications of fertility and health. Girls, I speak as an individual and I believe I also speak collectively for a substantial (if not the majority) part of the male race when I say -

The waif look is not attractive.

"The skinny woman doesn't appeal to me. If you visit the Renaissance Palaces in France, you'll see that attractive women are depicted as being of normal/larger size. The world is changing." - Stephen, 50, Corporate Executive.

"I think girls who are too thin miss out on the chance of developing secondary sexual traits which clearly ruin their looks. HAHA." - Arther, 20, Law Student.

"Skinny doesnt seem healthy. Skinny seems like skin and bones, so my answer have to be no, I do not find the skinny girls attractive." - Keat, 23, Mama's Boy.

"I don't like chubby girls nor do I like skinny girls. I like my women healthy!" - Praveen, 22, Dude.

"Nope, I've never fancied skinny models. I like meaty girls. Runway models are like ornaments - only for display purposes." - James, 26.

"Wellll.. I don't actually think that they are beautiful being that skinny. If anything, it puts me off. BUT it just so happens that most of the waif skinny chicks have very beautiful 'TV faces' which is why people forget that they are uglier than they appear... if that makes sense." - Hseng, 21, Stud (short for student).



Personally, I'm not advocating binge eating and pigging-out to pack on the pounds, as that would be equally as unhealthy. Instead, in my opinion, the most attractive women are often those who adopt healthy lifestyles characterized by a good wholesome diet and plenty of exercise. Such women are the real man's dream of a physically and emotionally complete woman, and are more likely to be confident, fulfilled and a joy to be around. And even if you're not exactly 'yoga-fit', have no fear, as I did a Google image search for the terms "attractive woman", and 9 out of 10 results represented women of normal or voluptuous build - try it for yourself! (Remember to keep 'Safesearch' on, people.)

So girls, it's not a big deal if your waist is 4 inches wider than Gisele's or if your thighs look like boulders compared to Naomi's. On behalf of all men in the world, I vow that the male race will love you for you, and that we can only grow to love you more the more you love yourself :)


Want to leave your 2 cents? Comment on this post.

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Straight Eye for the Straight Girl Episode 1

Imagine... being able to delve into the minds of young eligible bachelors and find out what exactly rocks their socks.

Imagine... no longer needing to fret over what to wear on a date, knowing exactly what men want to see you wearing.

Imagine... no more!! For I give to you - Straight Eye for the Straight Girl! - straight guys give you the low-down on their individual lists of the 5 outfits that set their heart racing.

This series will be running over a number of weeks, and the first young man we have for you today is none other than...

me.

Simply because the other dudes I have commissioned for this noble task are still not ready to unleash their top fives.



Before I begin, I am obliged to emphasize that in no way do the lists represent the collective or perhaps even majority opinions of the male race. A lot of men prefer minimum clothing, but we're not like that ;D. Thus, the following is purely the writer's personal opinion and should not be construed as authoritative.



Alright... it's partay time! Following tradition, I present to you...

The 5 Outfits I Think Ladies Look Fantastic In



A Crisp White Fitting Shirt with a Pencil Skirt



In my world, there is absolutely nothing that blows the mind more than a sophisticated lady in a tailored pencil skirt and a crisp clean white shirt. Nothing. Paired with black patent leather pumps, this is one outfit that'll really get mens' hearts pumping (pun intended and emphasized).



An Emerald Green Satin Dress

This luxurious satin green emerald dress simply exudes class and sophistication in the most understated of ways. As beautiful emerald green is, you don't see a lot of women sporting the color. Thus, this is currently a top choice for any woman who wants to stand out in a crowd.



A White Dress

A simple white dress should be a staple in every woman's outfit. No other outfit has the equal propensity of being able to transform the average woman into a pure, alluring neo-goddess. The dress should be minimally detailed and constructed from light cotton/silk.




Summer Dress


By now you may have noticed that I really like women in dresses.

The summer dress is essentially an outfit you can go crazy in and still look elegant - spice it up with a belt and white gold earrings, enhance it with open toe slip ons and matching bangles - do whatever makes you feel light, confident and carefree as every woman should in the summertime. Opt for light pastel shades and avoid over-flamboyant designs.




Jeans + T-Shirt


There is probably no straight man on the planet who doesn't like the look of a girl in a pair of nice slim jeans and a fitting white top - simple, clean and chic.




Are you young, eligible, male and have a penchant for writing? Actually you don't even have to be young and eligible. As long as you're male and enjoy writing, Straight Eye for the Straight Guy would like to showcase you and your top 5 on the site. Submit your entries (complete with accompanying pictures if possible) to rudi_cheu@hotmail.com

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Update

Here's a little sneak preview of some up and coming articles in store for all you readers of Straight Eye for the Straight Guy:

• Overdressing/Underdressing
• Accessorizing
• Behavioural Hallmarks of the Confident Man (and Woman!)
• Special Feature Series: Straight Eye for the Straight Girl (you don't want to miss this one!)
• And much, much more

Straight Eye for the Straight Guy also cordially welcomes any requests on specific topics - just leave a comment on the site.

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Behavioral Hallmarks of the Confident Man (and Woman)

Shake it like a Polaroid picture!

Not your booty (although a post on how to do that may not be too far away), but rather your hands. Everybody needs to perfect the art of a good, firm handshake. Going step-by-step, the first thing you should do is extend your arm confidently (it's always good to be the person initiating the handshake) and offer your open hand to the other individual.


As he/she proceeds to grasp your hand in return, grasp his/her hand neither so loosely that you feel that your hand is in danger of slipping off, nor so tightly that your handshake partner appears to be on the brink of tears. The perfect handshake is always a confident, firm shake accompanied by a genuine, generous smile.

Smile (often)

Here's a couple of things really smart people have said about smiling:

"A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks." - Charles Gordy

"People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile." -Lee Mildon

"I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful." - Author Unknown

"The shortest distance between two people is a smile." - Author Unknown

"Beauty is power; a smile is its sword." - Charles Reade

"Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important." - Janet Lane

I don't think I have anything to add to that.

Posture
Kurt Cobain could slouch all he wanted to and still get mobbed by thousands of adoring ladies. You can't... probably cause' you ain't no rock-star (if you are one, please get in touch).

Leave the slouching to the professionals.

One of the hallmarks of a confident man is excellent posture. Now I'm not talking about head up in the sky, back-bent-so-far-back-you-look-like-you're-doing-the-limbo posture. Excellent posture is characterized by what the medical community terms as 'neutral spine position', whereby the 3 curves of the spine {cervical (neck), thoracic (middle) and lumbar (lower)} are present and in proper alignment. Follow this link for medically prescribed exercises towards achieving perfect posture.

Look into my eyes
Ladies hate men who don't listen. And when someone is talking and you don't look at him/her, that's how things will seem. Now that's a mystery solved, innit!

To be an effective listener, you need to do more than examine her nose, mouth, hair and sneak a little glance at her chest every 5 seconds or so while she's talking to you. When you do the latter, I can promise you that more often than not, she's fully aware of it. They know what you're up to, but to save you the embarrassment, they often just let it slip.

Oh, she knows, alright.

To truly let someone know that you're listening and that you're sincerely interested in what they're saying, look into their eyes throughout the course of the conversation. Yeah, literally. Stare into their eyes if you must! (but be sure to keep a comfortable distance so as to not intrude within their 'personal space'.) That way, you'll be racking up the brownie points cause' no girl doesn't appreciate a guy who actually cares enough to listen and take the time to properly understand her.

Touching you, touching me

Before anyone even thinks about suing me for advocating sexual harassment, I have to make one thing clear - I said touching, not molesting.

During a conversation, a brief hand on the other person's shoulder/arm can do wonders for making a great first impression. Touching and being touched releases oxytocin, the hormone commonly associated with enveloping feelings of calmness, love and healing. Therefore the person you've touched will associate such positive feelings with your presence, going a long way in making a fantastic first impression.

A BRIEF hand on the other person's shoulder/arm (it also helps if you don't sport a 'whats-up-baby' expression while doing it.).

However, be sure to limit touching to a person's shoulders, arms, and upper back, as touching other parts of the body may potentially overstep sensitive physical/cultural borders. For example, the touching of someone's head may be interpreted as a belittling/patronizing act and the touching of a woman's lower back/legs/etc may (and in most cases, probably will) be interpreted as an act of harassment. And don't even ask about bums (little wink-outs to a few female friends of mine who enjoy the practice of bum-smacking - I don't know why, but apparently exceptions are often made when the smacker is a girl.).

Complimenting

There is a very real difference between complimenting and flattering somebody. The synonyms for flattering are sucking-up, grovelling, smothering a person with empty praises... whereas complimenting somebody is the art of subtly looking out for positive details about a person's appearance or demeanour, and letting them know that you care enough to have noticed. Nonetheless, when complimenting, it's essential to be genuine. You'd be surprised at how easily someone can tell if you offer them a compliment that's not from the heart.


Women often complain men don't compliment them enough. So guys, let's fix that.

If your girl is wearing an especially dazzling dress, don't just smirk and smile inside at how stunning she looks in it... tell her. If she's just come back from the hairdressers and her locks are looking lovely, tell her. If your wife has put in weeks of effort at the gym in order to lose that post-pregnancy belly, tell her... tell her just how much you love and appreciate her and all the little things she does for you - sometimes that's all a lady wants... and needs to hear.

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Ladies & Designer Brands: A Killer Combination or a Living Abomination?

Author's note: This article is specially dedicated to the treasured, highly appreciated female readers of Straight Eye for the Straight Guy.

Ladies - since the time of the cavewoman, females have had it in their blood, and arguably as a prerogative, to want to look good and feel good about themselves. Pre-historic women fulfilled that need by adorning and perfuming themselves with varieties of exotic fauna in all the colors of the rainbow. Even the first woman, Eve, carefully selected her Garden of Eden frock from among the best, greenest, most supple vegetation available that season, while Adam just plucked his leaf from the nearest shrub and stuck it on himself in pure straight man fashion.*

A primitive Native American woman rockin' it.

Modern, well-to-do women satisfy similar instincts by dressing up in the finest and most exquisite array of clothing available on mother Earth, specifically, the high-fashion, designer brand.

Now. Assuming that part of the reason women dress themselves up is to attract the opposite sex, today we embark on a discourse specifically designed to answer one burning question. Straight Eye for the Straight Guy interviewed a range of eligible young men and asked them:

"Women who enjoy wearing high-fashion designer brands - turn-on or turn-off?"

“I like women who wear brands like Prada and such, but it might be bad for their own safety. We live in a world today where robbers and thieves are all around so girs like that’ll need a boyfriend or somebody who can protect them.” - Abrahame, 22, Student.

“I think the practice of wearing brands is indicative of a girl who is very ‘high-maintenance’. I personally wouldn’t go for such a girl. I'd prefer a more average down to earth person.” – Alvin, 20, Student.

"I don’t like women who wear brands just for the sake of wearing the brand. Women like to compare themselves with each other – you see one woman wearing Louis Vuitton, and another will follow by wearing Prada – it's just competition as to who can afford the more expensive brand. I mean, do people even genuinely think that brown LV pattern looks good? " - Steven, 34, Businessman.

A certain anonymous fellow went so far as to divide brands that women wear into 3 categories – red, yellow and green, the colours representing different alarm levels corresponding to the specific price range of individual brands. For example:

(Brand – Alarm Level – Course of Action)

Chanel, Burberry, Louis Vuitton – Red Alert - State of Emergency, run.
Zara, Topshop, GAP – Yellow Alert - Proceed with caution.
Unbranded – Green - PROCEED AT ALL COSTS.

"It doesn't really bother me, as long as it suits them. Like, some girls can have high-end brands all over their bodies, but still look awful. While a really pretty girl can look awesome simply wearing a plain GAP T-shirt and jeans. But I probably wouldn't be intimidated by a girl in a Dior dress and Jimmy Choo stilettos... it depends on the occasion I guess." - Ryan, 22, Law Student.

"Well, I think clothing should be appropriate for the occasion. I mean, you don't have to be clad in designer brands every single time you go out, but let's say you see a girl walking down the street and she's all dressed up in Chanel, Burberry, etc - branded goods do come with a mark of quality and it adds a certain gloss to a woman's appearance. Honestly I don't really pay attention to the brands a woman is wearing, I pay attention to how good her clothes look on her. And I won't decide on the 'high-maintenance' part until I actually get to know her." - Teck How, 22, Single-if-you're-hot.

"Being myself, although I like elegant things and women who know how to take care of themselves, women who enjoy wearing designer brands scare me off. It's probably because I stereotype them as high-maintenance, shopping addicts. A female friend of mine once told me that ladies want to marry a man who can support them financially, as in a man who can pay for their shopping! I was like, "Wth, what's the low/average income guy gonna do then?"

Women of this kind usually have good fashion/style sense, so they'll expect you to look equally as good around them to complement them. Even the romantic experience with this sort of woman would be different. Handmade gifts to touch the heart will probably piss them off and be received as an indication of you being tight with your wallet.

So, yeah, its a turn off." - A very long answer by Franch, 22, Student.

"To me, it's not a matter of what she wears - it's how she wears it, tak kisah designer, pasar malam or standard clothes" - Shazlan, 23, Female enthusiast.

"I think it really depends on the woman's perspective towards designer brands. If they grew up wearing designer diapers, they're probably used to it and there's nothing much we can say. But if they do it to feign richness when in fact they aren't, then it can be a complete turn off..." - Anonymous, 21, Bohemian Stranger.

The responses seem to show a mixed set of opinions regarding the question at hand. However, a popular consensus seems to indicate that most men appear to be tolerant of women who are into designer labels for the sheer appreciation of the aesthetic value of the products, instead of women who go the way of the designer simply as a status symbol. In that sense, it isn't inaccurate to argue that for every man who negatively stereotypes a woman for wearing labels, there are also a substantial number who in fact associate designer labels with attractiveness, confidence and capability.

In conclusion, ladies, wear what makes you feel comfortable, what makes you feel good about yourself. If that Vera Wang dress is the only thing standing between you and true happiness, then by all means, go for it. After all, at the end of the day, it's all about being happy with who you are... isn't it? Leave your 2 cents as a comment.

*Historically inaccurate statements

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