My Condolences on Your Marriage

It is traditional for a single man to shudder at the prospect of marriage. 

Loss of "freedom" (a.k.a the dreaded "one-gina" disease)
Loss of independence ("Thanks guys, but I'll be having a quiet one at home tonight with the missus")
Loss of female fans ("oh, Jack? Yeah, he's pretty cute. But he's married.")


and so on so forth.

Now to some extent (depending on a range of variables), the above mentioned consequences of marriage can and usually are true for most men.




But have any of you ever stopped to consider the upside of marriage?




Let's face it - most single men spend a large chunk of their energy and money on girls. 

We buy nice clothes. We read mens' style blogs. We make sure every strand of hair is in (or out of ) place. We work out incessantly at the gym. We attend courses on how to attract women. We read books on how to get girls. We work hard to buy nice, fast cars. We ride in those nice, fast cars to attract nice, fast women.

My personal, conservative projections are that the average man spends about 72% of his total usable life energy on pursuits that are directly/indirectly related to attracting the opposite sex. 




Marriage puts an end to this.




You no longer feel that much of a need to impress. Your bank balance stabilizes. Your confidence level soars as you settle comfortably into your own skin. You feel a sense of stability and comfort from the fact that you have a partner who's there to share the sun and the rain. The aforementioned 72% of energy spent on seeking out hot blooded females can now be diverted to career and self development pursuits.


In addition, assuming that your wife-to-be is a financially sound person, you'll also enjoy the advantage of being able to invest and save twice as much. Between the two of you, loan repayments can be shared, resources pooled and wealth multiplied. 

More than three quarters of the 40 richest people in Malaysia are married. So what are you waiting for?




Proceed to the nearest Vegas chapel and get married,
Today!


Offer valid while stocks last.

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Brains vs Brawn

One of the oldest questions in the book:

Looks? Or Personality?

Imagine yourself stuck in the airport due to a delayed flight. You call for a latte in Starbucks, fight your way to the last free couch and triumphantly plop into it.

An hour or two later your veins are pumping with caffeine and you muster the courage to talk to that gorgeous girl sitting next to you. Also because you are dying with boredom.

It's happened.

You went for Looks.

We continue:

You then find out that the gorgeous girl; aptly named Sarah (after a few minutes of prodding into her life), is that next-door-girl you'd love to bring home to your parents. Dressed in your Sunday best for Sunday roast - you know it would be just perfect.

That's Personality.

But really, does this ever happen in real life?

The chance of you meeting the love of your life both of wit and grace in a Café? Hmmm. We'll wager on that.

Truth is, we hide our shallowness by answering in the latter. Personality. Why not?

Like a sundae, that delicious red cherry-on-top is just the icing on the cake. Underneath that cherry, is where the magic is.

However, the reality is a little less black and white. Men are in fact, more prone to the pursuit of a superficial 'ideal', parading their new trophy girlfriend with bursting pride or trading their old 'un for a young chick as soon as circumstance allows.

Is this an unfair generalisation? Hell yeah.

But guess what is even more unfair?

An okay-looking dude getting all the chicks. And they're hot.

Yeah. You've seen that scene before. The balding dude with two gorgeous women on his arms, hanging on to his every word or the loser of the pack (or so you thought) ending up with the hottest girl in school.

For most men, there is an obvious gap between:

Lust ------------------------------------------ Love

However for most women, the dividing line is confusingly blurred.

Sort of like this: Lust-Love

According to research done at a US university, women, like men, can - quite genuinely - be blinded in matters of love and lust.

But while a female's perfect physical attributes (broadly speaking) is all it takes to convince a disconcertingly larger number of men that this beautiful symmetrical woman is up for the challenge of a long-term companionship, a woman's blindness often works in reverse.

How?

Instead of the rippling biceps and triceps, you want to know what also turns a woman on?

Their M-I-N-D.

Oh yes.

A man's intellectual achievements, mutterings of tomorrow's plan for the complicated surgery, his close relationship with his family or simply a predisposition to be kind to that mangy mutt outside the chicken rice shop is all it takes to transform a stocky, balding nerd into Brad Pitt in the smitten woman's eyes.

Unfortunately men, this is true.

For example: A strong reason why I was attracted to a particular person was his great relationship with his parents, and the fact that he adores and is adored by his siblings. When I told him that, he brushed away my observation and proceeded to instead show the 'macho' side of himself.

The conclusion can only be this: I like a family-orientated man. The way he treats his family in the present, I feel, will be reflected in the way he will treat his future family. With tender love, and care (awww!).

So will it be Brains?

...or Brawn?

Saran

xx

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Men of Color

An anomaly has always existed that reinforces the notion that man (woman) is never satisfied. 


White people want to become tan people. And tan people (comprised of mostly Asian people) want to become white (fair) people. 


I don't know about the blacks though. Y'all be rockin' whatever look God throws at you. Heck, black people are probably the only people who look good with a chrome dome. 






But reverting to the matter at hand, we observe that:

7% of women (or men) prefer their men fair.

23% of women (or men) prefer their men to be neither here nor there. A little salt and pepper, as they say. I don't know if that maxim applies to skin color... but anyway,

A majority (42%) want their man to be tan (I think I have natural rapping talent).

And 26% of you want to get with a black guy.

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Read This and Never Worry About Money Again

Ladies & Gentlemen, 
I'm very proud to introduce a good friend of mine - Joe.


Joe is here for one and only one mission - to make sure that you, dear SEFTSG reader, will never have to worry about money ever again. 






How is this achievable, you ask?






No, Joe is not advocating a get-rich-quick scheme (though this may qualify as a get-rich-gradually scheme).


Neither is Joe about to convince you to hand over all your hard earned green/dough/ringgit/dollars to literally leave you with nothing to worry about.


What Joe is going to do, is author a three-part series entitled "Getting Started to Managing Your Finances" to equip the average Joe (haha.) with the adequate financial knowledge and skills so that you truly will never have to worry about your finances ever again.


Without further ado, I now release Joe into the deepest corners of your credit-card polluted minds.




SEFTSG
_________________________________________________________________

The Power of Compound Returns

This is the First Part of a Three Part series on “Getting Started to Managing Your Finances” by Joe. Yes, he’s your average Joe and he’s probably in not much better shape financially that you are but hey, you can’t blame a man from trying, no?

First off, if you’re reading this you’re probably in your 20s maybe 30s and sharp, good looking and having not too bad of a time with the opposite sex, thanks to Straight Guy (and Gal now!).

But have you thought to yourself – I don’t have enough money! I wish I was earning more money!

Sure, you can get a new, better paying job - but I'm not here to interview you for a job opening - instead what I'm here for is to share some basic skills and knowledge that everybody, and I mean everybody, should have. Managing your finances, as they call it -  to make more money with what you already have.

For my first part, I want to share a very simple concept before diving deeper into the art of  managing your finances. It is not only an essential concept but indeed one that is very powerful and handy to know.

It was Albert Einstien who said : "Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it ... he who doesn't ... pays it."

If the world’s smartest man to have ever lived said that, boy, don’t we all have to sit up and listen what he has to say! But wait - just what does this "compound interest" mambo jambo mean in real life?

It means two things. 


First of all, it’s a powerful tool to make your money work harder for you. It’s funny how we all work so hard for our money, and yet never have given thought to how it can work harder for us.

Let me give you a quick and simple example.

I. Love. Coffee. 

I love it so much that every single day in the year I spend RM9.50 on a grande Cappuccino at Starbucks. Doing the simple math of RM9.50 x 365 = RM 3467.5 (assuming it’s not a leap year).

Now, how much do you think I'd save annually if I had taken that money and put it into a fixed deposit account instead (with say 5% interest per year and the interest is left in the account to accumulate – ie: compound interest.)?

Doing the math, by the end of the 20^th year, I would have RM 114,656!

Okay, but what if I'd just saved that money in a jar under my bed? (that would be alot of jars!) 

RM 3467.5 x 20 = A mere RM 69, 350. 

Thanks to compound interest, I'd have effortlessly made myself an additional, sweet RM 44k!

What compound interest can do to a man.

This in turn, leads me to introduce the Rule of 72. 


If you had a fixed amount of money and you wanted to calculate how many years it would take to double it, just divide the rate of your returns against it. 


For example, you have a fixed deposit which gives you a returns rate of 6% per annum. 72/6 = 12 years for your money to double.

This rule also works if you want to calculate the returns rate which you need to double your money in a certain number of years - e.g. say 6 years which is 12%. (72/12 = 6 years)

However, the only downside to the above is this rule is less useful if the number that divides it is 20 or above. 

So, what now?

With that realization, I hope you've come to understand two things - It is worth saving and investing money here and now! 


Start early. 


Use the power of compound interest to make your money work harder for you. Each ringgit saved is akin to a "biblical mustard seed" if invested well.

Conversely so, you should avoid raking up excessive credit card/personal loan debt as this is the flip side of the compounding interest action, making you poorer and the banks all the much richer!

That is all for now. Look out for my 2^nd part of my guest series on the HOW to manage, after we've dealt today with the WHY. Until next time!

Cheers,

Joe.

DISCLAIMER: This article is at best merely the opinion of one long term investor (who at times may be overdosed with caffeine!) who is intent on sharing what advice he has read/received - but is not to be construed as financial advice/recommendation to buy/sell. Any action taken following the analysis, commentary, any information from the post is ultimately your responsibility. Please consult a professional financial adviser and exercise your own due diligence before making any investment decisions.

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Interview with a Shy Guy

Saran prodded me the other day, eager to answer one of womankind's most elusive questions - "What is the way to a shy guy's heart?". Personally, I'm not exactly a shy person, thus I sought answers from the source.


I sought out a shy guy.

The following individual shall not be named, because he is after all, shy. We will call him Sergio the Shy Senor and this is the raw excerpt of the interview that will answer the age old question


"How do you find your way into the heart of a shy guy?"


R: Happy New Year Sergio. You do realize that contributing to the advancement of womankind's advances towards mankind will surely be the noblest thing you do this year?


S: Undoubtedly so.

R: Allow me to spare you any more niceties and get straight to the point. What is the best way to tap into a shy guy's heart?


S: Oh this is the question that Saran chick wants to know the answer to, right?


R: That is correct.


S: Does she want to tap into my heart?


R: No. 


S: Dang.


    Wait. So you're saying I'm a shy guy???


R: That is correct.


S: Ok. I admit. I am a shy guy.


R: But one thing is for sure. Some ladies can't tell. Some of them might just see you as being stone-cold awesome cool. Apparently to them, cool quiet guys > babbling idiots. 


S: For real?


R: How would you feel if a woman came up directly to you and told you she was into you?


S: I would be stunned. It would be better if she just came up and had a casual chat with me.


R: How should her approach be like, specifically? Just walk up to you and say "Hello my name is Hotchick Lee?"


S: That works if we're in a social gathering. But... if we're in a public place, I don't think that would be a good idea. 


R: Why wouldn't it be a good idea?


S: As a shy guy, frankly, I wouldn't know how to react. Perhaps it's a matter of experience as well. Repeated exposure would wear off the nervousness and allow me to loosen up a bit and be myself.

R: Mmm hmm.


S:  Perhaps if both parties had mutual friends, it would be great if our mutual friends could introduce us.


R: Chickenshit.


    


     I'm kidding.


     How would you feel if the woman was the one asking you out instead of vice versa?


S: You called me chickenshit!


R: I was joking. Get over it. And besides, it'll look good on the blog.


S: Are you sure?


R: Yes. Now answer the question.


S: I'm actually fine with being asked out. In the past, when that happened, I used to get defensive and ask who else would be coming along. But nowadays, I'll just go along with it.


    And uh oh yeah, chatting online is a good idea! The Internet somehow makes me feel more     secure. 


R: That's creepy. In a good way. 


S: Thank you.


R: Are you okay with the idea of a woman dominating the conversation? Or does that scare you off?


S: Dominating... as in more than 80% of it?


R: More like 77.25%


S: In the context of this conversation there is no real difference between 80% and 77.25%.


R: Yeah. I was just trying to be funny. Now you've ruined it by rationalizing it. 


S: Oh. My bad.


    Back to your question. Somehow... I think I would mind if a woman dominated the conversation. But at the same time, I would prefer her to be rather chatty. The reason being that sometimes I tend to just run out of interesting topics.


    In fact I think a conversation should run both ways. I know men tend to talk less, but sometimes, we still have profound things to say.

    There was this one time when I went out with a girl who talked a lot. I don't mind chatterboxes to be honest. But she pretty much spent the entire evening talking about nothing but herself. Every single time I tried to put forth my views, she immediately changed the topic back to herself. It was really annoying.


R: Amen brother. I'm annoyed now myself. 


S: Hey, but this is different. You're interviewing me.


R: You know that rationalization-ruining-jokes thing I mentioned earlier?


S: Point taken.


R: So how did the date end?


S: In peace. I didn't cut her tongue out or anything. But let's just say I got to know her A LOT better.


R: Haha. That last line was pretty funny actually.


     I'm assuming you wouldn't ask her out again?


S: D to the UH, my brother.


R: Uh-huh. So what would be your idea of an ideal date?


S: A long dinner... at a place where we could both chat about ourselves and get to know each other better.

R: So no over-the-top dates that draw too much attention to yourselves, I presume? You lean toward the quiet and toned-down scenarios?


S: Yup. Maybe for the first two or three dates at least, while we're building a comfort zone around each other. After that, I'd get to know what the girl's interests are... and then perhaps we could try them out and see if I would be comfortable.


R: Would you mind sharing with the world your best date experience to date (puns, puns, puns everywhere!)?


S: You know R, to be honest, I've only been on maybe 4 dates. They all ended after the first date, because I didn't think we could get along well. 


    I think the key is simply to have conversations that both parties can appreciate. 


R: That's perfect. I think this might be getting a little long for blog posting purposes. Can I post your photo on the blog by the way?


S: I'm fine with you posting this conversation... but my photo? I'm shy remember?


R: Oh yes. Silly me.

Summary: Shy Guys 101

• Don't approach one in a public place. Look for opportunities within more intimate social settings, e.g. parties, group dinners, group activities, etc.
• Don't be overly direct with how you feel towards Mr. Shy Guy. Ease him in with casual conversation to get things going.
• If you both have mutual friends, use em'. 
• If both of you have Instant Messaging (Whatsapp, MSN, Skype), use it.
• There is no rule against you making the first move and asking him out. Do it subtly of course.
• Talk about mutually interesting topics. Shy guys (and guys in general) like Sergio do not enjoy the company of self-centered women.
• In fact, since you're dealing with a shy guy, gently ask him questions about himself and things that are important to him to get him to open up and feel comfortable. 
• No open-mic night crowd participation first dates. Keep it simple with quiet dinners that are conducive for non-threatening, deep, meaningful conversation.
• As far as possible, be cool with him rationalizing every joke you make. 

Till next time.

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P to the E to the RM.

Dear Straight Guy,


I'm currently letting my hair grow out because I'm thinking of getting a perm. Any advice?

Man hug,
Max.


_________________________________________________________________




Dear manly man Max,


Perms can be, contrary to popular straight man notion, a great look. Kudos to you for daring to tread down a path that many regular straight guys shun. 


A carefully executed perm can in fact, add handsome texture and volume to your existing style, giving you a more "K-Pop"-ish look (which is in fact, currently all the rage) and thus endearing you to a rather large portion of the South East Asian female demographic. Heck, I wouldn't surprised if white girls started getting yellow fever as well (pretty please?). 


That being said, not all is well in the Perm-o-land. Without proper preparation and education, perms can and DO go wrong... and brother, the results are never pretty.

The range of perms you can get at salons nowadays are endless - body wave, multi-texture, pin curl, root perms... new, innovative perm variations are mushrooming, and can be overwhelming for the average dude who doesn't even have a clue as to what a curling iron is. 


So to keep things simple as always, SEFTSG has summed things down to the three golden rules of man-perms:






Rule #1 - Tight perms are not a tight look

Tight perms are essentially the perm your 50 year old morning-market homemaker would go for. You've probably seen one. Your mother probably has one. Or is going to have one. 


Despite the sheer ridiculousness of this look, it remains a popular option with the 50 and above female segment desperate for that last push for volume before everything goes downhill. 


Simply put, a tight perm looks good on Nobody. And even if your name happens to be "Nobody", 


for the sake of mankind and all that is good


say no to the tight perm. 






Rule #2 - Nature knows best


This may sound absurd, but any artificial aesthetic-enhancing procedure should always have the objective of looking as natural as possible. I know! It makes no sense.


When a woman gets a boob job, she's looking for natural double Ds that look like the product of forces of nature. Not the product of a mass production silicon lab. 


When a lady gets a botox injection, she's looking for a lift that brings her back to what nature intended for her when she was 18. 


Similarly, when you're deciding on a perm - choose one that most closely resembles nature. 


For example, nature damn sure didn't intend for Phil Spector to look like he does up there (Topmost image). But nature may very well have intended for these gentlemen to look the way they do:

The above gentlemen have all had perms. It wouldn't surprise me if more than half of you couldn't tell - and that is exactly the hallmark of a good perm. A good perm fools people into believing that you haven't had a perm - and that you miraculously obtained a better head of hair overnight. 


These gentlemen underwent what some term a "natural bodywave" perm - a perm that is characterized by its subtlety in imparting volume and texture to otherwise limp and unlively hair. Typical asian hair is often soft and lacking in texture, and thus a perm can work wonders in giving your hair some semblance of personality. 




In any case, simply telling your hairdresser that you want to look like a K-Pop star still may not guarantee you a passage to hot hair heaven. You have to show him exactly what you mean.

That in turn, leads me to the third and final rule of man-perms:








Rule #3 Hairstylists are visual people


How many hairstylists does it take to pass a listening test? The answer is none. A hairstylist will never pass a listening test. (Dear Ivan, if you are reading this - do not take this personally. You are an exceptional hairdresser and would definitely pass any form of listening test of any degree of difficulty.)




The above riddle makes no sense except to illustrate the fact that hairstylists are predominantly visual people - ie. they respond best to visual stimuli. 


Except Ivan of course. (Is my appointment next Tuesday still on?)


Have you ever told your hairstylist to give you a certain haircut and it ended up nothing like what you had in mind? 


If you haven't, you've probably never been to a hairstylist.




If you have, try bringing visual aids the next time you're down in the hair-house. In other words, show your hairstylist what you want. Bring pictures. Bring photos of celebrities/friends that have hair that you want to have. That way, your hairstylist will know exactly what you have in mind and saves him the trouble of figuring out which one of the 5,672 hairstyles you mean when you tell him you want to look like David Beckham.

Never ever cross your hairstylist. You'll live to regret it.

Till next time, this is Straight Eye for the Straight Guy, signing off.

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