Dressing Identity

Okay, okay get this - 



Two men meet at a party. They're both wearing identical logo tees. 


What happens next?








They both go "DUDE WE LIKE, HAVE THE SAME SHIRT!!!" 


"LIKE, TOTALLY RAD!"


*high five* 




*chest bump* 




*beer-mug-clinking*


and perhaps an ensuing celebratory photo to commemorate this moment, the memory of which both men will cherish for generations to come. 

Typical straight guy scenario.






Two women meet at a party. They're both wearing the exact same dress. 

Recipe for disaster

What happens next?






Nothing much... except -












ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE.
















A mystery of life: why in the world do women make such a big deal of wearing the same dress, donning the same shoes or carrying the same bag at the same time and at the same place?














Because every woman understands this cardinal law of style - 


Dressing well also means dressing exclusively. 




That means wearing a dress no other woman else has, sporting a pair of Manolo Blahniks that no other girl owns and carrying a Hermes Birkin that no other lady within the vicinity is likely to be able to afford. 






Where a majority of men see domino-dressing as nothing more than an entertaining quirk, many women see it as nothing short of a 2012 caliber catastrophe. 




Therefore, to be a good dresser, not only in the eyes of man, but also (very importantly), in the eyes of a woman, the word of the day is to be unique - to have, what I call a "dressing identity".  


Take for example the gingham shirt phenomenon. The gingham shirt was the in-thing about 6 months back, and is slowly falling out of trend circles as we speak. 




Don't sport the gingham shirt when every alternate man on the street is wearing one. Dressing well is not about being a trend-following, gingham-shirt wearing zombie. It's about having your own individual sense of style, and sticking by that look regardless of what's in and out of style. Truly outstanding dressers (from James Dean to Johnny Depp) all sport a distinctive style that is truly theirs. 


When Grease bell bottoms were tres-chic, not only was every John Travolta-wannabe on the street wearing them, every Travolta-wannabe on the street was also looking like a douche in the process. Sure, the man himself may have looked somewhat... forgivable in bell bottoms, but that doesn't mean every other Tom, Harry and Dick will. 




The mere fact that something is a trend does not make it stylish by default. 




Think popped collars. Think cat-eyed visor sunglasses. Think carrot-cut trousers.






At the end of the day, it pays in massive dividends to find a look that suits you and your personality and to stick by it. 




Are you a geek? Embrace the way of the black rimmed glasses. Rock the buttoned-up-all-the-way-to-the-collar shirt.

More of a man about town? Keep a good variety of well-fitting oxford shirts and polo tees at arms reach.

Does rock flow through your bloodstream? A timelessly well fitting leather jacket never fails.

The gist of dressing well is to be supremely comfortable in your second skin, ie. the clothes you're wearing - in the sense that what you're wearing is what you are. Ultimately, a man only looks good in nice clothes if he feels good wearing them.


Trends will come and go and are not for everybody, but once you find a look that represents your identity, a look people come to associate you with, you'd have taken yet another huge step towards well-dressed-man nirvana.

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Whiskey for Hair Growth!

More than once in my life, I've been told that rubbing whiskey/brandy on your face is guaranteed (a word that has lost all value) to make you grow facial hair.

Though, I've seen my fair share of chronic drunkards without a sliver of facial hair. They probably either drink their alcohol with extreme decorum and care or just aren't drinking the right drinks. 

In any case, Straight Eye for the Straight Guy recently polled 45 readers on their facial hair preferences. 

The majority (35%) were of the stand that a little bit of facial growth is the way to go.

Now for the vast majority of Asian men like myself, who at best, can only grow facial hair that has been termed by the ladies as "insufficient"... woe is us.

But wait! Hope arrives valiantly in the form of the second highest polled option - 28% of voters liked us "clean & shiny" folk - a look that the Chinese have perfected over generations of living in sterile environments that did away with the evolutionary need for facial hair.*

Only 4 people thought that being "follicularly blessed" was an actual blessing, disproving the notion that more is more when it comes to facial sprouting. Though I'll bet my bottom dollar that the latter 4 voters are not men who have to wake up 20 minutes earlier every morning to whip out cream and a razor sharp Gillette just to work through that plumage that makes its renewed, unwanted appearance every morning on the faces of the dearly blessed. 

And finally, to the remaining 26%:

1 Samuel 16:7 

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Good night and God bless. 

*Apparently facial hair is a natural-selection result of living in dustier environments, as it helps to trap and minimize dust from entering the respiratory system. 

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Life Tip #125: Take The Lead

As Straight Eye for the Straight Guy has always been a house of controversial statements, I'll say it loud and clear:

Most women don't mind being dominated

Now before anyone starts donning red shirts and burning up the place, let me clarify the context in which I'm making such a statement.


I am personally of the belief that the vast majority of women want a man who can take the lead in the tango-for-two that is the male-female relationship.




The best example is the next time you're out with a mixed group of friends and everyone's deciding where to eat. Don't be the nice-guy who goes "Anywhere's fine with me...". There's unlikely to be any restaurant in the vicinity named "Anywhere" and contrary to popular notion, doing so isn't going to earn you any brownie points with the ladies. 




Being indecisive or going with everybody else's flow (many men do so to be "gentlemen") merely demonstrates the lack of will, direction, strength and all other atypical male-brute attributes that subconsciously make a woman go goo-goo-gaa-gaa. Dare I say, deep down inside the crevasses of every woman's soul lies a variable-sized soft spot for a Conan the Barbarian male-archetype. 

Be the decisive man who says "If nobody is going to decide, I say we eat at <name of generally popular joint which everyone is unlikely to dispute>". 


Women will love you for it. 


But of course, the standard disclaimer paragraph must follow to avoid a potential onslaught.


Although it's generally true that females are attracted to strong, decisive men, the advent of 20th century feminism and gender equality entails that we men must also be adept at striking a fine balance between taking the lead and male chauvunism. 

Ladies, stop reading here.

My fellow male homo-sapiens - pssst...you can actually be a chauvunist... but you must never, ever allow a woman to think that you are a chauvunist. That means, despite your inherent chauvunistic mindset;

• you will never lay a hand on a woman
• you will never raise your voice at a woman
• you will never belittle a woman for the fact that she is a woman
• you will ask her for her opinion (but ultimately make the decision... in light of her opinion, of course)
• you will not order a woman to do the household chores. But you will love her so good that she'll want to do them for you. And it doesn't hurt to help out once in a while either (because I know you women are reading this even though I told you not to)

In essence, today's man has a tough balancing act to fulfill  - he must be strong, yet gentle. Dominant, yet democratic. Steadfast, yet sensitive.

And today's woman needs to start following instructions..

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Older Women & Younger Men: UPDATED

"Greetings Rudi!

I really enjoy reading your blog. It's like food for thought.

Anyhoo, I've always been wondering:

Do ladies mind when it comes to their respective partner's age? I noticed that when a guy is 5 to 8 years older than his lady, it's not a very big deal... BUT not vice versa. Even if the guy is younger by 1 or 2 years, it's like a huge barrier for the ladies! Why is that?!

Yours truly,
Joanne :)"


_________________________________________________________________




Greetings Joanne!!!


I really enjoy the fact that you enjoy the blog. It's food for my blogging soul. 


That's a very legitimate question, Joanne. Primitive society has traditionally frowned upon the notion of an older woman and a younger man, but disproportionately embraced the phenomenon of the older (and usually richer) man who keeps a collection of virile young beauties, even putting the latter man on a pedestal. You needn't look further than the most well-known pajama wearing publisher on the face of the earth.  

This stereotype stems from the age-old notion of men being the designated providers in the family unit. Older men, usually being more accomplished financially and in most cases, emotionally, pose a very attractive proposition for a younger woman. That is contrasted to the typical notion of a younger man - virile, athletic, reckless, fun and all other things irresponsible. 

The younger man appeals to the older woman because today's older woman can hold her own financially, not needing to rely on a male any longer for providence. Therefore, in very frank terms - the older woman, instead of having to worry about money, can focus her attention towards her carnal desires - i.e. identifying a mate who can provide her with eye candy and maximum physical satisfaction. Nevertheless, it's apparent from the term used to describe such women - a "cougar" - that there is still prejudice attached to women who like younger men, implying that such women go against the ideal female prototype - one who is demure, coy and often is the subject of the chase instead of the chaser. 


On the flip-side, the younger man is attracted to the older woman for a myriad of reasons - confidence, maturity, decisiveness, experience, and so on. In fact, in an informal study I recently conducted (involving a grand total of 10 men), 90% of males aged 18-26 surveyed said that they didn't mind/preferred older women. 


This is in stark contrast to a similar informal questionnaire (of 15 women) which asked women aged 18-26 if they would date a younger man - 33.3% gave a wholehearted "No", 33.3% said "Yes" with the qualification that the man must be sufficiently mature whereas only the remaining one-third of participants gave a full "Yes" when it came to the prospect of dating a junior man. 


The aforementioned results indicate an anomalous situation where younger men are more than willing to get their hands/hearts on older women who are quantitatively not as keen on the idea as men are. Thus, Joanne, it may be inferred that a significant barrier to older woman - younger man relationships lies not with men, but rather, women. In addition, relative age appears to be a enhancing factor when it comes to attraction for men and women alike (with the qualification that excessive age is likely to have the opposite effect). 


It's submitted that perhaps, in an egotistical sense, a younger man achieves a sense of pride when he successfully captures the affections of an older woman. As opposed to a younger woman (who is generally perceived as being more easily swayed by status, money and power), drawing the attention of an older woman impliedly demonstrates that he is indeed a stud who, despite his inexperience and lack of temporal accomplishments, has succeeded in charming an older woman who is higher up the ladder of life than he is. In other words, she wants him for his arse. And ladies... you don't know just how much that does for the average male ego.




In conclusion, although its true that there are still many societies who are still conservative when it comes to older woman - younger man relationships, a small age difference (up to 3 or 4 years) no longer raises eyebrows, especially if the younger man is also financially stable and reasonably accomplished in his own respect. Furthermore, if modern culture continues to evolve in its current direction with more and more women holding their own in the corporate world and all other avenues of society, the house-husband phenomenon may indeed soon become a norm. 

At the end of the day, Joanne, love knows no boundaries - be it ethnicity, social status and most certainly, age. Different men and women will mature at different rates, and thus, if you've found somebody who shares the same core values and principles as you, somebody who's everything you ever wanted, somebody who loves you as much as you love him...but his parents just decided to get jiggy a few years later than your parents did... give the fellow a shot. People may talk, but when all is said and done - age isn't a big deal. Love is. 












Straight Eye for the Straight Guy welcomes all reader queries, questions and suggestions - send them in to seftsg@gmail.com

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