11:05
Rudi
You don't really need a degree in rocket science or beach science or whatever to understand the intricate art of beachwear. Essentially, your choices consist of the following two options: the boardshort and the swim trunk. Of course, there are a myriad of other selections, ie. thongs and the like... but we shall not set course into such unchartered waters.
Venture out into any seaside locale, and you're bound to find 2 beachgoer character archetypes: the self proclaimed "stud beefcake" who thinks he can wear a bikini brief to the beach and still look credible and the 50, 60 something year old men who do it anyway because they just couldn't give a...
Now, the second category of beachgoers are forgiven. Because they're our elders and we have to respect our elders, alright children?
Duly forgiven.
But the FIRST category of beachgoers... they've stepped foot into the no-no zone. As in there is no-no occasion where you don bikini briefs to the beach. You might get away with it if you were doing laps next to Ian Thorpe in a training pool, but to the beach - bikini briefs a.k.a speedos are never the answer.
Why do I speak with such conviction? Because I personally have been guilty of committing the aforementioned crime. Yes. You got me dead bang. I wore speedos to a water amusement park and thought I was all that when I noticed that everyone was stealing glances at me. Until much later, I attained a state of enlightment courtesy of feedback from a long lost tribe of ancient gurus of the sea (mostly friends and family) and realized the error of my ways.
Now, some of you may raise a debate, arguing: but what if I have a really really hot body - rippling abs, bulging pecs, the works... shouldn't I flaunt it?
Now guys, this brings to surface another timeless rule of male fashion - less is NOT always more. The human imagination is much more powerful than actual reality. In a sense that, the key is not to reveal as much skin as possible, but rather to reveal just the right amount to ignite the imagination of the opposite sex. Sex appeal coupled with class always triumphs over skankiness.
And boardshorts do this really, really well.
Aside from not having others judge you by the size of your... materials, the main advantage of boardshorts is that they make you appear aloof... because when it comes to fashion, the second you look like you've tried too hard, the game is over. And you lose.
Venture out into any seaside locale, and you're bound to find 2 beachgoer character archetypes: the self proclaimed "stud beefcake" who thinks he can wear a bikini brief to the beach and still look credible and the 50, 60 something year old men who do it anyway because they just couldn't give a...
Now, the second category of beachgoers are forgiven. Because they're our elders and we have to respect our elders, alright children?
Duly forgiven.But the FIRST category of beachgoers... they've stepped foot into the no-no zone. As in there is no-no occasion where you don bikini briefs to the beach. You might get away with it if you were doing laps next to Ian Thorpe in a training pool, but to the beach - bikini briefs a.k.a speedos are never the answer.
Why do I speak with such conviction? Because I personally have been guilty of committing the aforementioned crime. Yes. You got me dead bang. I wore speedos to a water amusement park and thought I was all that when I noticed that everyone was stealing glances at me. Until much later, I attained a state of enlightment courtesy of feedback from a long lost tribe of ancient gurus of the sea (mostly friends and family) and realized the error of my ways.
Now, some of you may raise a debate, arguing: but what if I have a really really hot body - rippling abs, bulging pecs, the works... shouldn't I flaunt it?
Now guys, this brings to surface another timeless rule of male fashion - less is NOT always more. The human imagination is much more powerful than actual reality. In a sense that, the key is not to reveal as much skin as possible, but rather to reveal just the right amount to ignite the imagination of the opposite sex. Sex appeal coupled with class always triumphs over skankiness.
And boardshorts do this really, really well.
Aside from not having others judge you by the size of your... materials, the main advantage of boardshorts is that they make you appear aloof... because when it comes to fashion, the second you look like you've tried too hard, the game is over. And you lose.
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